Free agency's first day
(Shouts to subscriber Ricky O’Donnell for his magnificent postseason and draft work and also for the ongoing compilation of free agent signings.)
(Apologies for all the agent names.)
THE BIG ONE
Miami pulled Kyle Lowry in exchange for Goran Dragic and Precious Achiuwa
The Heat know what Goran has left, they’ve been around him. We may anticipate the opportunity to speculate midseason — who’s having the better season, Goran or Kyle? — but at the moment Miami values a stranger’s potential over what Goran Dragic plans for 2022.
That’s enough scouting report for me, Kyle Lowry’s been in Florida for months, he’s really no stranger, Miami knows what’s going on.
Reflex forces us to bother with the bill of health because we can’t help it, our introduction to Lowry mostly included images of him taking charges and falling into basket stanchions back in 2008, which was not the last decade but the decade before last:
The entire NBA waited for shoes to drop on Miami’s original Double Dragic deal — two future first-rounders, eventually unprotected, to Phoenix for Goran and Zoran Dragic. While the nerds awaited the transaction’s final tally, Riley concentrated on staying pretty damn good and making sure those picks never mattered.
Goran’s killer career in Miami only cost the Heat the chance at Tre Mann in this year’s draft and Philadelphia’s 2018 selection of Zhaire Smith. Ahead of Donte DiVincenzo, Kevin Huerter, or Grayson Allen, but, really, that’s enough white guys.
Because Duncan Robinson just signed for five years and $90 million, and Tyler Herro will bounce back and Miami just thinks it has a better chance of being healthy in April and May and June than your favorite team does.
Lowry is not the savior July pitched him as but at least it’s finally August and we’re not dealing in rumor any more, he’s with the Heat and he might be enough.
TORONTO’S END
Goran Dragic went from severe pain in autumn of 2020 to being asked to start the whole damn thing over in winter of the same year, and to nobody’s surprise Dragic wasn’t healthy at all in 2020-21 after zero time off.
This year? Dragic hasn’t played since May, he skipped time with his national team, he’ll have a full offseason and healthy motivation to earn the hell out of the final year of that contract. And earn the heck out of the one he signs in summer 2022. (I have to cut the heck back on the cursing.)
Moved on or paired with Fred VanVleet, each arm on this potential duo understands working away from the ball. Toronto is rare in that regard, especially with VanVleet at all of maybe-six-feet, those types don’t usually slide in and out of strong side action like longer, Delon Wrights do.
Precious Achiuwa played only 12.2 minutes in his rookie year with Miami. He isn’t yet 22 and he can rebound and block shots at an NBA level, Precious picked up 20 steals in 61 games which means he probably picked up over 30 but the refs called the rookie for a hack.
Which means he’s paid his dues and Toronto gets the payoff. As they do for Dragic, looking for a contract and another playoff spin, after Miami paid for Goran’s pained 2020-21.
It isn’t Ben Wallace/Chucky Atkins-for-Grant Hill and Luc Longley-for-Metta World Peace’s Draft Slot, but this is one of the better sign-and-trades.
DOUG MCDERMOTT
Spurs, three years and $42 million
San Antonio certainly went and dipped their balls in it.
Whiffs of Kevin Ollie on Monday, the time in 2003 Billy King gave the guy $15 million over five guaranteed years to do what 11 previous teams already happily paid the 31-year old to do one year at a time.
It’s the future now and we’re all hot and bothered like that song off the ‘Wayne’s World’ soundtrack and $42 million is the new $15 million, whatever, a lot of these deals seem one year too long.
We still encourage you to get those years, especially out of Julianna Holt.
BP signed for two years and $9 million with the unwritten clause in the contract that someone should probably write down, especially the headband part.
Portis, as you’ve guessed, gets free beer in any bar in Wisconsin for the rest of his life, that’s the unwritten part.
Problem is, these bars are going to want the headband, Bobby has to be sure to bring his headband. Someone write that down.
NORMAN POWELL
Five years, $90 million with Portland
Jody Allen, who owns the Portland Trail Blazers, is going to try and sneak away with this.
Dame wants to stay and make as much money as possible and with a competent general manager in place make the Finals and earn an NBA championship for Portland (the team he, a national endorser, can make the most money from).
Damian Lillard, who is not averse to seeking a trade, sees Chris Paul and the $420 million he’s set to make by age 40 and he wants to eat it, too. Deserves to, too.
All it takes is canning a chump of a general manager and replacing him with any number of the eager nerds ready to take that job. Can the coach because paying two NBA head coaches will cost you nothing, because you are Jody Allen, money is something you throw in the garage until you figure out what to do with it.
(I know. She has her own garage.)
The finite pool of players works with every direction. Any GM candidate can stumble their way around via timing and three-pointers and build an NBA Finalist, you just need a Damian Lillard-type to start with because NBA basketball is built with five players (few) and one ball (fewest). Abruptly eliminating a GM (and coach!) is a big deal and it would be very embarrassing, but you’d get over it as soon as basketball started.
You know what you wouldn’t get over once basketball started? Any combination of Damian Lillard on another team, and Neil Olshey and Chauncey Billups at the same job.
The Powell signing is fine, he’s a good player for under $20 million a year.
DEVONTE’ GRAHAM
Four years and $47 million the Pelicans in a sign-and-trade
NOLA sent CHA a 2022 lottery-protected first.
We are thankful for Woj and Shams’ fine reporting on Monday but Shams called Devonte’ a “sharpshooter” and, no.
Devonte’ Graham is capable of canning ten three-pointers in a row and/or hitting a game-winner in Paul George’s face but he is not, my New Orleans friends, “a sharpshooter.”
This designation denotes consistency, and Graham isn’t allowed on the range any more (unless he comes with his instructor).
REGGIE BULLOCK
Three years and $30 million with the Mavericks
Everyone likes Reggie. I love Reggie. Tom Thibodeau liked Reggie when Bullock returned from a debilitating back injury to start 64 games and hit 41 percent from deep.
Three years? Take Mark Cuban’s money.
Wouldn’t you?
The man spent a decade and a half in pro basketball as a 6-5ish center, 13 years ago he was in the Israeli league, 12 years ago it was the Ukrainian league, and, worse, in 2006-07 Tucker had to battle Rasho Nesterovic in Raptor practice every day.
P.J. doesn’t even know the Heat are in title contention. He just wants a gym with a set of good weights but also on a beach.
The second season has a player option because you bet your ass it does.
The Bucks signed Semi Ojelele for 2022 to do the things that P.J. Tucker did in 2021, something Semi might be able to pull off in 2024 (in Italy).
Christian Wood and Alperen Sengun do it in different ways but they’re basically the same player right now, loads of buckets and rebounds. A win-now pairing with the bouncy Theis intrigues. It has me smiling, the Rockets are coming from the bottom-up but they’re not going to bottom out.
From that owner, too, Tillman Fuckthisguy.
BULLS
Subscribers get the Bulls post, including reaction to New Orleans’ side and also Woodstock ‘99?:
DWIGHT HOWARD
One year, minimum, Lakers
Dwight Howard on national TV all the time. Trying to crack up LeBron.
Worse, successfully cracking LeBron James up. With whatever it takes to encourage laughter from the man who cackled at the ‘Space Jam 2’ script (mere words!) after two glasses of wine prior to switching over to TBS for a whole night of mid-aughts ‘Family Guy.’
The Lakers also picked up Wayne Ellington and Trevor Ariza and it is absolutely OK if you thought both those guys were already on the Lakers.
ROOKIE EXTENSIONS
Shai Gilgeous-Alexander signed his extension, $172 million.
Trae Young also signed his extension, over $200 million.
Sounds good.
CHRIS PAUL
Robert Sarver saw his stadium look like it was in a pandemic for a decade prior to the pandemic …
… and he’s making the safest bet. Pay for point guards, they’ll get you gate receipts.
Everything changes with the additional Cameron Payne signing, three years and a laughable $19 million. Luxury at backup point guard is a huge deal, everyone thinks they’re fine with Jordan McLaughlin until they have to start him.
Cam enjoys being there, it’s sunny and beautiful and the building fills up when the team is good, Payne likes those fans, he grew up with the Thunder, he’s used to that pace.
Cameron Payne’s comeback story reads a little stronger without him bolting to bolster some terrible team’s backcourt for as much money as possible. There’s more comfort in his continued attendance with Payne moving to stay part of this.
PHX GM James Jones had another problem and took care of it, JaVale McGee is on the Suns as reserve center.
MIKE MUSCALA
Two years, $7 million with Oklahoma City
The same guy that keeps re-signing Mike Muscala over and over is going to to be the guy using up all those first-round draft picks.
SPENCER DINWIDDIE
“nearing a deal” with Wizards, no terms yet
This makes way more sense than a lot of the other teams that were rumored to be interested in trading for an already-signed Mr. Dinwiddie.
Bradley Beal wants to be in Washington, which isn’t weird. Pretend it’s like one of the other NBA cities that players want to stay in forever, like Indianapolis or Salt Lake City.
And Spencer Dinwiddie is somehow Bradley Beal’s weirdest point guard yet.
JARRETT ALLEN
Five years and $100 million with the Cavaliers
What you do is you go out and start two big men until the rest of the NBA informs you that you cannot start these two big men. If your team is never made aware of this, you’re either the Indiana Pacers, or you just won a championship.
The Cavs are going to talk nonsense and we’ll make fun of them and the bigs will have their growing pains mostly because the Cavaliers are terrible, the Cavs can’t score, and because Evan Mobley is a 20. And they’ll lower Mobley’s confidence and Allen’s value and trade Allen.
But Mobley will be fine and they’ll get something for Allen at a different date, because this date stinks. What did you want the Cavaliers to sign-and-trade for in the summer of 2021?
Commit to the available good player now and figure the rest out later because, listen, it worked out with Kevin Love.
Pedro Power.
Pedro Power certainly works on a team that just used a top-ten pick on a 23-year old that plays the same position as the team’s two-best players.
DEWAYNE DEDMON
Re-signs with Heat
Dedmon pissed off every coach he had, so much so that the pissed-off Detroit Pistons will pay him $10.6 million between now and 2025 just not to play basketball with them.
Pissed off every team and probably each of his 11 coaches until he went to the Miami Heat. Who want him back.
See, I think it’s OK that shitty NBA players don’t respect shitty NBA franchises. It’s just fine that Dennis Smith Jr. maybe has the same opinion of the Pistons as I do.
So,
MIKE CONLEY
Three years and $72.5 million with the Jazz
Great deal for Utah and Conley. Not sure why any team thought rousting 34-year old Mike Conley through another new team and another new coach would be a good idea for 2021-22.
EVAN FOURNIER
Four years and potentially up to $78 million with the Knicks
Fournier may not own a guarantee on that fourth year, which is good for New York’s next coach.
When you run with Thibs, you build his way, you win right now, let’s go, thank you and good night. NYK committed to Nerlens Noel for three years and $32 million, using cap space that some speculated would be used to re-negotiate Mitchell Robinson’s contract, and gave $30 million to Alec Burks for three years of us getting to say “Alec Burks” like Jerry would.
Whoo boy this messes the Nets up. Brooklyn re-signed Blake Griffin but Blake is nowhere near the dunker Jeff Green is.
The Nuggets also kept JaMychal Green and Michael Porter Jr. is a year older, every little bit helps to make up for what Paul Millsap used to do on his worst nights.
ZACH COLLINS
Three years and $22 million with the Spurs
I feel like I’d much rather pay Zach Collins $22 million to play next season than I would pay Zach Collins $22 million spread out over three seasons on my NBA team. We probably won’t complain about this deal in 2023-24 but I reserve the right to would absolutely love to.
Are the Spurs telling us what they’re doing?
This was a surprise, Torrey’s shelf life with coaches rarely lasts more than six months and the head of the NBA’s coaching union just signed up for two training camps of Torrey Craig.
Jeremy Lamb wasn’t a bad signing for Indiana, he didn’t need the ball and supported the stat sheet in several fashions, injuries aren’t anyone’s fault. Craig ain’t Lamb. Torrey Craig is not, for instance, Doug McDermott. Torrey Craig is just a guy that comes in and forgets some plays but makes up for it with figuring it out when he gets there.
He will make up for it, though.
Squaring up guaranteed money for T.J. McConnell’s age-32 and age-33 seasons has little appeal, but McConnell is a good player that should adapt well to the loss of the athleticism that sprung him to so many of those dreamtime steals:
Four years and $35.2 million for McConnell which is a lot for that jump shot.
After this, Pacer stuff is subscriber-only. Know your market!
TIM HARDAWAY JR.
Four years and $74 million with the Mavericks
The Mavs have nine figures’ worth of ex-Knick swingmen, fine, but they chose a very good pair.
Hardaway is more scorer (16.6 in 28.4 minutes per game last season) than shooter (38 percent from deep in a three-year Maverick career) but I have a healthy suspicion the Mavs think they’ll be paying for one outsized shooting season from Tim, where he cans way above his average. Betting on the usual, hoping for a fluke.
And, with Jason Kidd annoyingly set to battle Luka Doncic in the fight to define Luka’s position, the 29-year old Hardaway should find more space to scan.
MOE HARKLESS
Two years and $9 million with the Kings
Wow, Moe Harkless really went out and mildly disappointed every team he could until the Sacramento Kings finally noticed.
Two years. Like they already know they want Moe Harkless on their team again, but next summer. Made fewer than a quarter of his threes for them last year, didn’t stand out at all in 26 games, but Sacramento must have really enjoyed Harkless’ 28th birthday party (which was three months ago, obvious Taurus).
I know we’re supposed to have faith in this new Detroit Piston front office but this is embarrassing.
It’s “Oubre,” not “Olynyk.” Do these team sign free agents via drop-down menu?
The Pistons also signed Cory Joseph for two years and $10 million because he was amazing for them late last season with nobody watching and we’re sure that’s going to last into his 30s.
GARY TRENT
Three years and $54 million from Toronto
Trent Jr. isn’t 6-8, which is why the length-obsessed Raptor front office only gave him $54 million.
While we’re at it, Gary Trent Sr. wasn’t 6-8, either, even though they listed him there. It was also the reason he didn’t earn more money.
We’re about done here because
DAVID NWABA
Three years and $15 million
Weird that the Rockets will be the team to pay Nwaba off for all the minimum-salaried floor burns he gave the Lakers, Bulls, Nets and Cavs.
Last season Nwaba came back from an Achilles tear a few days before his 30th birthday and performed as if, what. Achilles, what. Steal and block and rebound rates were all fine.
The swingman is not an outside shooter, but the Rockets figure they have enough of that with centers Christian Wood and Daniel Theis and rookie big man Alperen Sengun.
HOT AND BOTHERED
Off the ‘Wayne’s World’ soundtrack. Did you think I made that up?
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