They were driving down NH-16 on a sunny Saturday in September when they saw a cluster of balloons tied off to a small sign on the side of the road. The sign advertised “Art Studio This Way” and Terry felt compelled to stomp the brake and flick the directional on. When he found a gap in traffic he did the hand over hand over hand move to turn sharply up the hill.
Love this so much: “The guy scraping the lasagna off your plate might have superpowers.” It leads to a whole line of thinking about humanity for me…and makes me reflect on “the chose ones,” who in the world is “essential” and so many other things. Thanks for this!
Great stuff. It is incredible how much talent there is in the world. Wow.
Tiny technical point -- you started writing in 3rd person and then changed to 1st person in the 4th paragraph and then back to 3rd person later in the piece.
There is nothing wrong with this -- you'd get a tongue lashing from the Karen teaching your creative writing class for your MFA -- and it does not impact the story which is, of course, the important thing.
POV is the kind of thing you pick up on a first edit. You make a little checklist -- sentence length, POV, repetitive words, too formal dialog, starting sentences with the same word constantly, etc.
You did the hard thing well as I want to buy that painting.
Love this so much: “The guy scraping the lasagna off your plate might have superpowers.” It leads to a whole line of thinking about humanity for me…and makes me reflect on “the chose ones,” who in the world is “essential” and so many other things. Thanks for this!
Great stuff. It is incredible how much talent there is in the world. Wow.
Tiny technical point -- you started writing in 3rd person and then changed to 1st person in the 4th paragraph and then back to 3rd person later in the piece.
There is nothing wrong with this -- you'd get a tongue lashing from the Karen teaching your creative writing class for your MFA -- and it does not impact the story which is, of course, the important thing.
POV is the kind of thing you pick up on a first edit. You make a little checklist -- sentence length, POV, repetitive words, too formal dialog, starting sentences with the same word constantly, etc.
You did the hard thing well as I want to buy that painting.
JLM
www.themusingsofthebigredcar.com