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Is Wokefishing the Newest Sneaky Strategy On Dating Apps?

Research helps explain deceptive dating strategies.

Flickr/rult57
Source: Flickr/rult57

A good friend tells me there is a running joke in the Washington D.C. dating scene: “Any guy who puts ‘moderate’ on Hinge is a Republican.”

That came to mind as I read about a new trend called “wokefishing.”

This New York Post headline sums it up: "‘Wokefish" Dating Trend: Shady Men Are Pretending to Be Progressive on Apps

According to writer Serena Smith, “wokefishermen” are masquerading as progressives to attract women. The term is a variation on “catfishing,” in which people post fake photos on dating apps.

Sneaky F***ers

Is wokefishing a human manifestation of the “sneaky f***er” strategy? This is a real term used by researchers in animal behavior.

In this paper, the researchers write, “For example, male elephant seals, who are physically small and whose chances to become 'beach masters' are low, may adopt a so-called ‘sneaky f***er’ strategy, stealing a mating from the dominant male while he is fighting with other ambitious males.”

The evolutionary psychologist Gad Saad has discussed this term with Jordan Peterson, suggesting that some less formidable men will adopt certain political beliefs in order to improve their romantic prospects.

I tried to track down the origin of the term “sneaky f***er.” Researchers who invoke this term regularly cite a 1974 article in American Zoologist, which doesn’t contain it. Discussing elephant seals, the biologist Burney Le Boeuf wrote:

“Some young males sneak into the harem and occasionally succeed in copulating with females who are almost as large as they are by apparently passing for females. These males have small noses, keep their head low, and refrain from threatening others. Perhaps it is because of this "low profile" strategy and their resemblance to females that some of these young males were often more successful at mating than larger adult males.”

He described the sneaky f***er strategy but never used the term. It seems researchers have been getting away with using this term in their papers for 40+ years by citing an article that doesn’t actually use it.

Are wokefisherman using a sneaky f***er strategy? Some of them might not be as large or as strong as other males. They might be signaling "wokeness" to ward off the suspicions of larger males and to gain the favor of women.

Political Peacocks

In his fascinating paper “Political Peacocks,” the evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller described the scene when he was an undergrad at Columbia University in the 1980s.

A bunch of students was suddenly upset, all at the same time, about apartheid. He noticed students were pairing off at the campus protests.

Miller writes, “Everyone I knew was dating someone they’d met at the sit-in. In many cases, the ideological commitment was paper-thin, and the protest ended just in time to study for semester exams. Yet the sexual relationships facilitated by the protest sometimes lasted for years.”

A recent paper would seem to align with the wokefishing idea. In a series of studies led by the social and evolutionary psychologist Mitch Brown, the authors found that women are more attracted to men who participate in social justice activities (indicating moral outrage) than control activities (e.g., sports). Especially for long-term relationships.

Perhaps the ideal strategy would be to do both: express moral outrage during a social justice event while simultaneously demonstrating physical prowess in whatever way that would maximize social standing.

Attractiveness, Muscularity, Height

In another wokefishing article in Vice, the writer describes how a man she was dating sent her a text: “Oh god, you’re not gonna become one of those vegan feminists, are you??” She then goes on to imply that he wokefished her, reeling her in by pretending to be progressive.

If he felt comfortable enough to send her that text, was he really a wokefisherman? It seems possible, based on the article, that he was a guy she was attracted to who was playing his cards close to the vest. In other words, he may not have been actively expressing woke views so much as suppressing his anti-woke views.

This is supported by the recent survey by the Cato Institute and YouGov, which found that 62 percent of Americans say they have political views they are afraid to share. The study also found that 35 percent of men and 27 percent of women are afraid of losing their jobs or missing out on job opportunities if their political opinions became known. People might be equally worried about missing out on romantic opportunities because of their political opinions.

In fact, research suggests that the kinds of features women find attractive in men negatively correlate with progressive politics. That is, the traits that make men attractive appear to make them less left-wing in their political orientation.

For example, there are consistent findings showing that women often prefer muscular men and that muscularity is correlated with sexual success for both long and short-term mating. A study led by Aaron Sell at Griffith University, for example, showed images of men to two different groups of women. The researchers report that for both groups, “The rated strength of a male body accounts for 70 percent of the variance in attractiveness.”

Another study by David A. Frederick and Martie G. Haselton at UCLA found that muscular men reported greater numbers of sexual partners. Interestingly, the researchers also asked men about their self-esteem. Maybe muscular men simply feel better about themselves.

This higher-self esteem could explain their higher sexual success. But the evidence didn’t support this. Muscular men, regardless of their self-esteem, had more sexual partners. They also found that muscular men reported more affairs with women who were in committed relationships.

There may be tension among men between being attractive and being less politically progressive. Put differently, the men that women tend to find attractive will oftentimes not share their politics. In these cases, such men might simply choose to remain silent or claim that they are politically “moderate.” Indeed, it may be possible that political orientation is shaped by a desire for protection. If one is particularly vulnerable, they may seek protection in the form of liberal politics as well as from formidable men. If one is particularly formidable, they may be less inclined toward liberal politics.

Related findings:

Many of these (often tall, muscular, attractive) guys just keep their mouths shut about politics at the beginning of the courtship process. Silently assenting or changing the subject rather than expressing their views. Then, once they’ve hooked up a few times, they gradually reveal their true beliefs.

In a popular Glamour article from 2017 titled “Help, I Can't Stop Hooking Up With Trump Supporters,” writer Korey Lane begins with a story:

“I started arguing with a Trump supporter at a bar, and then before I knew it, I was waking up the next morning in his bedroom. There were flags everywhere: Ronald Reagan's face was emblazoned on one of them, ‘Don’t Tread On Me’ made an appearance on another.”

In a different article in Toronto Life titled, “I accidentally slept with a Donald Trump supporter,” a woman named Diana writes:

“I met this guy on Tinder...He showed up at the bar, and he was super handsome. Like, really tall—six-foot-four or something absurd... We hooked up, and it was incredible.”

She then goes to describe how she was horrified to discover In Trump We Trust by Ann Coulter on his bookshelf.

For better or worse, the kinds of guys many women find attractive are going to be less politically progressive than average. And for better or worse, many young men are going to remain silent in the early stages of dating rather than say something that could harm their romantic prospects.

Many Men

Broadly speaking, women and men had conflicting interests in the ancestral environment. Women were more vulnerable than men. And women took on far more risk when having sex, including pregnancy, which was perilous in an environment without modern technology. Thus, women more carefully scrutinized potential sexual partners for a variety of characteristics. Today, women are still far more careful about who they have sex with than men. The imprint of millions of years of evolution has shaped our sexual behavior today.

Even though times have changed, women still more carefully evaluate their sexual partners than men. It’s possible that wokeness is simply a modern way to indicate that one is compassionate, socially aware, and sensitive. Expressing a woke view, or just agreeing with one, is a shorthand way to communicate all of these positive characteristics.

Some women might be evaluating men on these traits because they have an interest in selecting men who they believe have good character. Men have an interest in having sex.

As the esteemed psychologists Roy Baumeister and Kathleen Vohs have written:

"Although this may be considered an unflattering characterization... we have found no evidence to contradict the basic general principle that men will do whatever is required in order to obtain sex, and perhaps not a great deal more. If in order to obtain sex men must become pillars of the community, or lie, or amass riches by fair means or foul, or be romantic or funny, then many men will do precisely that."

In other words, many men will enact whatever strategy is most effective in their local environment to obtain sex. Many women are aware of this, and thus screen more carefully.

Women and men want different things and are taking on different amounts of risk when seeking a sexual relationship. There is an evolutionary arms race such that each party will learn what the other wants and will adjust their strategies accordingly based on their context.

Consider an analogy. Many employers say want a “passionate” employee. Employees begin putting “passionate” on their resumes. Then an employer writes an article saying, “Employees are pretending to be passionate to get jobs.”

Employers will then adapt. Some might begin to weed out candidates who say they are “passionate.” They will update their methods and look for different signals in their search for worthy applicants. The romantic landscape will continue to change as each party updates their strategies to get what they desire.

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