For years I thought I was obsessed with love, but I was wrong. I was fixated on longing rather than knowing, and on infatuation instead of connection. I spent many nights asking, “When will I ever find love?” without pausing to ask precisely what I was searching for.
I wondered if, perhaps, I’d misunderstood love completely. Why could I walk away from a job I was unhappy with, but not from a bad relationship? Why did I have agency in every aspect of my life, and not in love? It led me to start a newsletter called Conversations on Love, in which I’ve spent four years asking authors, therapists and writers about the different shapes that love can take in a life. Not just