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Why Men Rape: An Indian Undercover Investigation
To stop it you have to see it. India has been ranked among the worlds most unsafe countries for women based on yardsticks of sexual and non-sexual violence, human trafficking and gender discrimination. How did we reach here?
In Why Men Rape, Tara Kaushal sets out to understand the reasons through a detailed investigation which includes interviews and meetings with nine men who have an inclination to commit acts of sexual violence. The men interviewed for the book belong to all sections of society: A doctor who rapes his twelve-year-old patient; an unemployed youth who has decided to kill his former lover; a youth who gang rapes; a serial gang rapist who doesn't believe rape exists. Alongside, the author gives insights from myriad survivors; world-famous experts; a jail inmate who observes and provides us with commentary on the principles of rape convicts inside a prison; and many more.
It also talks about how hypersexualized mainstream cinema; prejudiced media coverage of rape cases; the explosion of pornography; and other historic and current factors have become collaborative agents in causing gender violence in India. At a time when sexual violence is crippling our society, Why Men Rape marks an important contribution towards making us aware of the problem and finding a way to stop it.
In Why Men Rape, Tara Kaushal sets out to understand the reasons through a detailed investigation which includes interviews and meetings with nine men who have an inclination to commit acts of sexual violence. The men interviewed for the book belong to all sections of society: A doctor who rapes his twelve-year-old patient; an unemployed youth who has decided to kill his former lover; a youth who gang rapes; a serial gang rapist who doesn't believe rape exists. Alongside, the author gives insights from myriad survivors; world-famous experts; a jail inmate who observes and provides us with commentary on the principles of rape convicts inside a prison; and many more.
It also talks about how hypersexualized mainstream cinema; prejudiced media coverage of rape cases; the explosion of pornography; and other historic and current factors have become collaborative agents in causing gender violence in India. At a time when sexual violence is crippling our society, Why Men Rape marks an important contribution towards making us aware of the problem and finding a way to stop it.
- GenresNonfictionIndiaFeminism
326 pages, Paperback
Published July 20, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
November 26, 2020
TW: Rape/Sexual Violence/Child Sexual Abuse
I honestly felt quite unsettled when I finished reading this. Specially because I started off by scoffing at the haphazard nature of writing and the lack of valid research to support the author’s myriad opinions. But, as I delved deeper into this book, I think I started relating to the author’s thoughts, which warmed me up to her style of writing.
Why Men Rape is Tara Kaushal’s investigation into, well, why Indian men rape. In her quest to reach the bottom of the matter, she interviews 10 men belonging to different parts of the country, different castes, religion and class. And the answer is not pretty - because there is no one answer.
In the course of the book, a variety of issues afflicting gender inequality are discussed - sexual violence, gang rapes, domestic violence, child sexual abuse, the MeToo movement, hyper-sexualised women in cinema, religion, rape as a war weapon, usage of language in normalisation of subjugation of women, sex work, and effects of pornography. She cites the research of various experts on these issues to understand the psycho-sociological reasons that could compel one to rape.
Kaushal has made a valiant attempt to cover all the bases that might explain why men rape, but in doing so, she has merely scratched the surface of these topics which definitely require deeper understanding. I would suggest that one should conduct parallel research while reading this book.
I was fascinated by her understanding and explanation of why false rape complaints take place. She also acknowledged that men themselves are victims of patriarchy and, how it’s a fight between patriarchy and human rights. She also dives into how substance abuse, anger at debilitating power structures and, yes, even extreme hot weather, can influence men into raping.
One thing that I found positively annoying was the insertion of her opinion/thoughts on every issue. And it comes off as the snooty opinion of someone who is disgusted by her subjects, specially when she’s dealing with the men who belong to a lower caste and are poor. The usage of adjectives such as “puny”, “runt” etc. feel unwarranted. A slight condescension creeps into her narration and I honestly feel it is misplaced for a topic so serious.
While, of course, it’s valid to feel that way, but as a researcher, she carries the responsibility to maintain an objective point of view. Her voice and the experts’ voices often get blurred as she puts forward her opinion as a fact.
A few other things which rubbed me the wrong way were - 1) Her declaring that casteism and religious discrimination were waning in villages “from what I’ve seen and heard”. That was it. There was no other basis for her to make that conjecture. 2) Her statement on how prohibition of alcohol had led to an increase in violence in Bihar as told to her by “her friend” ??? BACK YOUR WORDS WITH DATA.
I was not too fond of the writing style either. It is very informal and haphazard; she uses unnecessary millennial acronyms for some reason and I don’t really understand why.
The book is divided into three parts, mostly on the basis of class. But, within these parts itself, there’s no linear storytelling of one person and this ends up creating confusion for the reader as they’re unable to discern the person she’s speaking about. After a point, I just stopped trying to figure out who she was even referring to.
I will admit to one thing though. It’s an interesting and engrossing read, but it also evokes an uncomfortable emotion in the reader, specially if you’ve been at the receiving end of sexual harassment (which, unfortunately, I’m sure every womxn has). For Kaushal, a survivor herself, to be able to go through this project and to bring to light not only the many untold stories of other survivors, but also her own, is a commendable feat in itself.
I think I would recommend this.
I honestly felt quite unsettled when I finished reading this. Specially because I started off by scoffing at the haphazard nature of writing and the lack of valid research to support the author’s myriad opinions. But, as I delved deeper into this book, I think I started relating to the author’s thoughts, which warmed me up to her style of writing.
Why Men Rape is Tara Kaushal’s investigation into, well, why Indian men rape. In her quest to reach the bottom of the matter, she interviews 10 men belonging to different parts of the country, different castes, religion and class. And the answer is not pretty - because there is no one answer.
In the course of the book, a variety of issues afflicting gender inequality are discussed - sexual violence, gang rapes, domestic violence, child sexual abuse, the MeToo movement, hyper-sexualised women in cinema, religion, rape as a war weapon, usage of language in normalisation of subjugation of women, sex work, and effects of pornography. She cites the research of various experts on these issues to understand the psycho-sociological reasons that could compel one to rape.
Kaushal has made a valiant attempt to cover all the bases that might explain why men rape, but in doing so, she has merely scratched the surface of these topics which definitely require deeper understanding. I would suggest that one should conduct parallel research while reading this book.
I was fascinated by her understanding and explanation of why false rape complaints take place. She also acknowledged that men themselves are victims of patriarchy and, how it’s a fight between patriarchy and human rights. She also dives into how substance abuse, anger at debilitating power structures and, yes, even extreme hot weather, can influence men into raping.
One thing that I found positively annoying was the insertion of her opinion/thoughts on every issue. And it comes off as the snooty opinion of someone who is disgusted by her subjects, specially when she’s dealing with the men who belong to a lower caste and are poor. The usage of adjectives such as “puny”, “runt” etc. feel unwarranted. A slight condescension creeps into her narration and I honestly feel it is misplaced for a topic so serious.
While, of course, it’s valid to feel that way, but as a researcher, she carries the responsibility to maintain an objective point of view. Her voice and the experts’ voices often get blurred as she puts forward her opinion as a fact.
A few other things which rubbed me the wrong way were - 1) Her declaring that casteism and religious discrimination were waning in villages “from what I’ve seen and heard”. That was it. There was no other basis for her to make that conjecture. 2) Her statement on how prohibition of alcohol had led to an increase in violence in Bihar as told to her by “her friend” ??? BACK YOUR WORDS WITH DATA.
I was not too fond of the writing style either. It is very informal and haphazard; she uses unnecessary millennial acronyms for some reason and I don’t really understand why.
The book is divided into three parts, mostly on the basis of class. But, within these parts itself, there’s no linear storytelling of one person and this ends up creating confusion for the reader as they’re unable to discern the person she’s speaking about. After a point, I just stopped trying to figure out who she was even referring to.
I will admit to one thing though. It’s an interesting and engrossing read, but it also evokes an uncomfortable emotion in the reader, specially if you’ve been at the receiving end of sexual harassment (which, unfortunately, I’m sure every womxn has). For Kaushal, a survivor herself, to be able to go through this project and to bring to light not only the many untold stories of other survivors, but also her own, is a commendable feat in itself.
I think I would recommend this.
November 18, 2020
I started to feel disappointed when I only read the introduction, and I hope my gut feeling is wrong. The more I read (without taking a break), the more I get confused. The content was very mixed up and jumpy. The author threw a few legislations and references of research papers here and there, and suddenly she wants to clarify her reasons for excluding the rape of other genders in this book. Then, she gives the definition of rape and narrows down to the 'false promise to marry'. If the author leaves that part as it is, it will be a good read, but it frustrates me when she includes her own opinion for the definition of rape. Same as underage sex, the author offers her view without a solid point to convince the readers. It will be better if she offers an opinion with a strong argument or provides lesser personal opinions to avoid being viewed as lacking neutrality and subjective in this topic.
Also, there were so many loopholes or unsupported backups for the story provided by the subjects. And the author includes a lot of her opinions to guide readers to think the same way as her. One of the subjects such as Partho, if he is an unreliable source and has a lot of lies, why he is still part of the contributor for this book? Whatever he says are no longer trustable nor can be used in the research, but the author wraps up the story with her personal judgement or what she believes is the truth. I mean she mentioned that Partho made up a lot of extravagant stories and she doesn't trust him, then she should find other more reliable sources instead of wasting her time interviewing him, telling us something that is not true, and wasting her time and effort to dissect his lies and humiliating him with sarcasm in the book.
I really hope there will be other people out there will love this book and know how to appreciate her work. I really feel bad that I don't know how to appreciate her storytelling style. I can sense she is an ambitious person and a great representative for the voice of the survivors. My harsh opinions are just a small percentage of the readers and shouldn't really affect her much. Nobody can please everyone even though, to be honest, I really wish that I like this book. Well, at least the content didn't disappoint me. It provides more than what I expected.
Book Review: Why Men Rape: An Indian Undercover Investigation by Tara Kaushal.
Also, there were so many loopholes or unsupported backups for the story provided by the subjects. And the author includes a lot of her opinions to guide readers to think the same way as her. One of the subjects such as Partho, if he is an unreliable source and has a lot of lies, why he is still part of the contributor for this book? Whatever he says are no longer trustable nor can be used in the research, but the author wraps up the story with her personal judgement or what she believes is the truth. I mean she mentioned that Partho made up a lot of extravagant stories and she doesn't trust him, then she should find other more reliable sources instead of wasting her time interviewing him, telling us something that is not true, and wasting her time and effort to dissect his lies and humiliating him with sarcasm in the book.
I really hope there will be other people out there will love this book and know how to appreciate her work. I really feel bad that I don't know how to appreciate her storytelling style. I can sense she is an ambitious person and a great representative for the voice of the survivors. My harsh opinions are just a small percentage of the readers and shouldn't really affect her much. Nobody can please everyone even though, to be honest, I really wish that I like this book. Well, at least the content didn't disappoint me. It provides more than what I expected.
Book Review: Why Men Rape: An Indian Undercover Investigation by Tara Kaushal.
October 21, 2020
Love and Human Rights is the ultimate solution according to Tara Kaushal to reduce rapes in our country.
I went in this book with high expectations and came out extremely disappointed. When the title says it is an undercover investigation, I expected undisturbed accounts of men's experiences and their voice. What I got instead was few lines from their lives, then some researcher's quotes thrown in, mixed with Tara's opinion. By the time the story went to the same person, I had lost train of that person's life. It was confusing and surface level description of incidences. The structure of the book itself was problematic for me. It felt too jumbled and haphazard.
As far as research for the book is concerned, although Tara has done it extensively, it did not reflect appropriately in the book. It felt placed just to fill in the gaps. For example, all of a sudden while narrating about a man from Kolkata, she starts talking about language and its gender based terminology. She talks about the term "ardhangini" to describe a female and how it defines female based on man's possession. But the thing is the term "ardhangini" is used to define a married woman with respect to her relation with her husband. Similarly while talking about evolutionary psychologist and their studies on the subject of rape, she ridicules it in few words based on 1 study which equates rape to desire. I am sure there must be more substance than that in the field of evolutionary psychology when it comes to rape.
As far as solution is concerned, yes Universal Love and Human Rights is something that should be achieved. But isn't it contradictory to what Tara has said again and again in the book, that as women progress more, violence against them will increase? Won't it mean that Equal Human Rights would mean women will empower themselves which will lead to more rapes? And to me, it sounded like utopian idea in today's world to have goals for love and equal human rights. Instead, tangible and achievable solutions would have been more welcome. ( It could be anything from Justice Verma Report implementation to what measures are required in Police System).
Another minor gripe I had was over reliance on facebook posts and viral news along with using short forms of terms such as PC. I might be just nitpicking and it might even become standard of book writing in today's world but it made me lose sense of credibility after seeing that.
This is not to say that the book should be avoided. On the contrary I would suggest everyone should read this book as an entryway for more research in the subject. I will be checking out authors and studies she has quoted throughout the book for sure.
I went in this book with high expectations and came out extremely disappointed. When the title says it is an undercover investigation, I expected undisturbed accounts of men's experiences and their voice. What I got instead was few lines from their lives, then some researcher's quotes thrown in, mixed with Tara's opinion. By the time the story went to the same person, I had lost train of that person's life. It was confusing and surface level description of incidences. The structure of the book itself was problematic for me. It felt too jumbled and haphazard.
As far as research for the book is concerned, although Tara has done it extensively, it did not reflect appropriately in the book. It felt placed just to fill in the gaps. For example, all of a sudden while narrating about a man from Kolkata, she starts talking about language and its gender based terminology. She talks about the term "ardhangini" to describe a female and how it defines female based on man's possession. But the thing is the term "ardhangini" is used to define a married woman with respect to her relation with her husband. Similarly while talking about evolutionary psychologist and their studies on the subject of rape, she ridicules it in few words based on 1 study which equates rape to desire. I am sure there must be more substance than that in the field of evolutionary psychology when it comes to rape.
As far as solution is concerned, yes Universal Love and Human Rights is something that should be achieved. But isn't it contradictory to what Tara has said again and again in the book, that as women progress more, violence against them will increase? Won't it mean that Equal Human Rights would mean women will empower themselves which will lead to more rapes? And to me, it sounded like utopian idea in today's world to have goals for love and equal human rights. Instead, tangible and achievable solutions would have been more welcome. ( It could be anything from Justice Verma Report implementation to what measures are required in Police System).
Another minor gripe I had was over reliance on facebook posts and viral news along with using short forms of terms such as PC. I might be just nitpicking and it might even become standard of book writing in today's world but it made me lose sense of credibility after seeing that.
This is not to say that the book should be avoided. On the contrary I would suggest everyone should read this book as an entryway for more research in the subject. I will be checking out authors and studies she has quoted throughout the book for sure.
November 22, 2020
Will update with a detailed review later but for now it suffices that this book is thoroughly an account of how Indians collectively fail Indian men to the point that they often don’t know what is rape and all the outrage to save Indian women from this is done so poorly, it serves only to further rape of women and marginalise women. While the book is not about the rape of boys, it beautifully deals with the topic when the context is necessary, something the so called men’s rights activists don’t give the slightest f*ck about.
If you are reading this review and liked the book subsequently, please give a rating. This will balance the inevitable low rating that will come from incels and misogynistic bigots who don’t want to accept that they have either violated women or have enabled the culture where rape thrives.
If you are reading this review and liked the book subsequently, please give a rating. This will balance the inevitable low rating that will come from incels and misogynistic bigots who don’t want to accept that they have either violated women or have enabled the culture where rape thrives.
March 29, 2022
Not review-
This book is the ground reality of our society. It is really a phenomenal research work and a courageous too. Reading this book gave me some interesting understanding over patriarchy in general. Being male it is difficult to understand sometime how and to what extent patriarchy affects identity. The use of power over women is so common in our society that it sometimes feels like as if it is natural. This book stand out as a mirror to myself and I think it will also for you. All men should definitely read this book and reflect.
This book is the ground reality of our society. It is really a phenomenal research work and a courageous too. Reading this book gave me some interesting understanding over patriarchy in general. Being male it is difficult to understand sometime how and to what extent patriarchy affects identity. The use of power over women is so common in our society that it sometimes feels like as if it is natural. This book stand out as a mirror to myself and I think it will also for you. All men should definitely read this book and reflect.
July 13, 2022
Too little Rapist's , Victim's voice and too much Author's Noise ...
January 23, 2021
Since the time I’ve started reading about rapes in the media, have constantly been questioning the mindset, attitude and common sense of men who rape. More so after accounts of prolonged gang rapes, rape with minors and use of harmful objects.
Something that I believed was it must not be for pleasure [solely]. After all, what would a man get raping a teenage girl child? And to a large extent, the book proved my assertion right in this regard.
There are many things at play here - as revenge on a female’s male relatives, not knowing the definition of “NO” (thank you Bollywood), seeing it as their right (irrespective of the pleasure quotient), male chauvinism, abusive childhood, a married woman’s duty regarding sex to her husband, etc.
There is also a myriad of issues that she discusses - objectification of women mainly in the lower strata, the MeToo movement, effects of alcohol and pornography, victimization of men in a highly patriarchal society, our crippled judiciary system, etc.
The one thing which took me by absolute surprise is the part on the amount of time women spend on safety. That some part of their brains is always occupied with this and the many missed opportunities that results because of it. Although I’ve always considered myself fairly cognizant of other’s comfort levels, this small part convinced me to improve my cognizance further.
But apart from this, there’s nothing new that I got to know. There was never a striking truth that jumped up howling straight on my face. I don’t think I’m wrong to say that while rape is probably the most pressing issue, it’s for the same reason it’s also highly publicized, making people well aware of its nuances. I had unsuccessfully hoped-for new insights straight from the horses’ mouths.
And then there’s the author’s incessant commentary in between the anecdotes. It felt that the author wants the readers to think about these a certain way - her way, and discard everything else one knows. And she goes on slapping citations after citations and quoting prominent researchers as a way of validation of her own thoughts. I mean, no one ever goes to cross-check the facts so these citations are, effectively, for the author’s own sake. There were a lot of highly misplaced and unwarranted comments and assertions.
Three things in particular which I ended up questioning,
1. The stories of her subjects were not at all linear. References of her subjects kept on haphazardly surfacing throughout the book which made it pretty confusing to recognise the subject (the situations in which her subjects raped were different for each) and to recall his story before getting back to the original context.
2. I believe the book was meant to channel the Indian masses. Why then did she resort to such high-level English is something I couldn’t understand. Regale and not amuse. Nebulous and not vague / uncertain. Blasé and not indifferent. I know for certain that some of my friends too, who even having passed from good ICSE schools, won’t be able to ever read this. Moreover, I believe when the author rightfully inserted Hindi words and phrases so that the readers can get the pulse of the contexts, she should have been mindful of the difficulty level of the language used too.
3. Something I’m never able to get my head around is why do authors like to call their chapters something that they feel is relatable?? One thing they don’t realise is while reading a book, that too non-fictions, people build expectations and contexts around chapter names and later these same names help in recalling the gist of the chapters. It’s actually very simple to have straightforward names. And I can bet anyone why hasn’t read the book yet, by looking at the chapter names, it might seem either like a crime thriller or a revenge drama or better yet, a romantic novel.
But above all, and what’s unquestionably more important, is the author’s valiant effort to get this book and these stories infront of people, especially after being a survivor herself, taking a breathtaking amount of risk in the process. She has done a commendable job of making it engrossing enough (through the facts of course) and I only hope that men, just like myself, could learn a thing or two, about women's safety from it.
Because, let’s be honest, men can never truly understand the hardships of being a woman. So what we should instead strive for is always bettering our understanding of them.
I’d recommend this (to selective people)!!
Something that I believed was it must not be for pleasure [solely]. After all, what would a man get raping a teenage girl child? And to a large extent, the book proved my assertion right in this regard.
There are many things at play here - as revenge on a female’s male relatives, not knowing the definition of “NO” (thank you Bollywood), seeing it as their right (irrespective of the pleasure quotient), male chauvinism, abusive childhood, a married woman’s duty regarding sex to her husband, etc.
There is also a myriad of issues that she discusses - objectification of women mainly in the lower strata, the MeToo movement, effects of alcohol and pornography, victimization of men in a highly patriarchal society, our crippled judiciary system, etc.
The one thing which took me by absolute surprise is the part on the amount of time women spend on safety. That some part of their brains is always occupied with this and the many missed opportunities that results because of it. Although I’ve always considered myself fairly cognizant of other’s comfort levels, this small part convinced me to improve my cognizance further.
But apart from this, there’s nothing new that I got to know. There was never a striking truth that jumped up howling straight on my face. I don’t think I’m wrong to say that while rape is probably the most pressing issue, it’s for the same reason it’s also highly publicized, making people well aware of its nuances. I had unsuccessfully hoped-for new insights straight from the horses’ mouths.
And then there’s the author’s incessant commentary in between the anecdotes. It felt that the author wants the readers to think about these a certain way - her way, and discard everything else one knows. And she goes on slapping citations after citations and quoting prominent researchers as a way of validation of her own thoughts. I mean, no one ever goes to cross-check the facts so these citations are, effectively, for the author’s own sake. There were a lot of highly misplaced and unwarranted comments and assertions.
Three things in particular which I ended up questioning,
1. The stories of her subjects were not at all linear. References of her subjects kept on haphazardly surfacing throughout the book which made it pretty confusing to recognise the subject (the situations in which her subjects raped were different for each) and to recall his story before getting back to the original context.
2. I believe the book was meant to channel the Indian masses. Why then did she resort to such high-level English is something I couldn’t understand. Regale and not amuse. Nebulous and not vague / uncertain. Blasé and not indifferent. I know for certain that some of my friends too, who even having passed from good ICSE schools, won’t be able to ever read this. Moreover, I believe when the author rightfully inserted Hindi words and phrases so that the readers can get the pulse of the contexts, she should have been mindful of the difficulty level of the language used too.
3. Something I’m never able to get my head around is why do authors like to call their chapters something that they feel is relatable?? One thing they don’t realise is while reading a book, that too non-fictions, people build expectations and contexts around chapter names and later these same names help in recalling the gist of the chapters. It’s actually very simple to have straightforward names. And I can bet anyone why hasn’t read the book yet, by looking at the chapter names, it might seem either like a crime thriller or a revenge drama or better yet, a romantic novel.
But above all, and what’s unquestionably more important, is the author’s valiant effort to get this book and these stories infront of people, especially after being a survivor herself, taking a breathtaking amount of risk in the process. She has done a commendable job of making it engrossing enough (through the facts of course) and I only hope that men, just like myself, could learn a thing or two, about women's safety from it.
Because, let’s be honest, men can never truly understand the hardships of being a woman. So what we should instead strive for is always bettering our understanding of them.
I’d recommend this (to selective people)!!
January 25, 2021
This review is taken from my IG account @descanto
Tara Kaushal conducted qualitative research in socio-anthropological method and take her readers to investigate why men rape. She selected several men from different types of societies to represent the Indian population. Some may think that the sample is an over-generalisation saying that India is one of the most populated countries in the world and the number can’t represent any of them. Yet those samples are what enlightens the readers towards the subject that Kaushal wants to deliver.
Kaushal argues that the act of raping itself carries three components: power, anger and sexuality. In addition, there are so many factors also of doing so. Several factors like the level of education, social class and language gentry play a role in it. Those factors and components circle in the arena of power, masculinities and the patriarchal system in the societies. The shocking part is that some of the rapists mentioned do belong to the higher caste of Indian social class.
The book is not an easy reading even it is enlightening. But what I do love from the book is the way Kaushal taking the readers to get close to the victims by knowing the who - the rapists, how - they conduct such action, why - their reasons to do so. The personal stories of the rapists are somehow take the readers to unveil their psychological reasons in committing such actions (even we cannot justify their actions too).
I know that most books about raping will always tell about why what how and circle the discussions in a small scope from the victim’s POV or in the circle of feminism or masculinity. In the end, those authors will co-optate themselves by making a blunder in it. Kaushal’s somehow is so personal as she mostly sees it from the psychological perspectives . Those things are written and delivered in simple language a normal people can understand. Well, I am Indonesian and I must say that I struggle a bit with the Indian sentences and the shifting to English but I can still picture the whole plot.
Tara Kaushal conducted qualitative research in socio-anthropological method and take her readers to investigate why men rape. She selected several men from different types of societies to represent the Indian population. Some may think that the sample is an over-generalisation saying that India is one of the most populated countries in the world and the number can’t represent any of them. Yet those samples are what enlightens the readers towards the subject that Kaushal wants to deliver.
Kaushal argues that the act of raping itself carries three components: power, anger and sexuality. In addition, there are so many factors also of doing so. Several factors like the level of education, social class and language gentry play a role in it. Those factors and components circle in the arena of power, masculinities and the patriarchal system in the societies. The shocking part is that some of the rapists mentioned do belong to the higher caste of Indian social class.
The book is not an easy reading even it is enlightening. But what I do love from the book is the way Kaushal taking the readers to get close to the victims by knowing the who - the rapists, how - they conduct such action, why - their reasons to do so. The personal stories of the rapists are somehow take the readers to unveil their psychological reasons in committing such actions (even we cannot justify their actions too).
I know that most books about raping will always tell about why what how and circle the discussions in a small scope from the victim’s POV or in the circle of feminism or masculinity. In the end, those authors will co-optate themselves by making a blunder in it. Kaushal’s somehow is so personal as she mostly sees it from the psychological perspectives . Those things are written and delivered in simple language a normal people can understand. Well, I am Indonesian and I must say that I struggle a bit with the Indian sentences and the shifting to English but I can still picture the whole plot.
August 24, 2021
The title of the book intrigued me, and I dived into the book, expecting an answer to the one question that is in the minds of girls all around the world, especially in the third world countries, why men rape?
But unfortunately the book doesnt meet the hype that the title tries to create. The introduction of the book is well written with all the data and numbers, which are easy to understand. But after the introduction, the book is very inconsistent and jumbled up.
I expected the book to have disturbing yet detailed accounts of the 9 subjects’ psyche and what made them the violate their victims’ bodies and minds. But instead the book has few lines thrown around here and there from the accused, their families and in few cases the victims. The flow of the books is so haphazard I never knew when was the author talking about which subject.
While dealing with a sensitive topic like rape, an author should provide opinions with strong research based arguements and supported by facts. But instead Kaushal seems to provide her biased opinions on every subject and every topic without any solid scientific data to back her up. She doesnt seem neutral in her approach. And I honestly dont know what is with Kaushal’s love for internet slangs!
And the solution she gives at the end of the book to curb the rape pandemic is so simple and unreal, Universal Love and Human Rights. Only if it was so simple. The 3 stars are for the author’s attempt to bring a topic like Rape to books and the risks she took while researching for the same. Other than that, the book is just a waste of time.
But unfortunately the book doesnt meet the hype that the title tries to create. The introduction of the book is well written with all the data and numbers, which are easy to understand. But after the introduction, the book is very inconsistent and jumbled up.
I expected the book to have disturbing yet detailed accounts of the 9 subjects’ psyche and what made them the violate their victims’ bodies and minds. But instead the book has few lines thrown around here and there from the accused, their families and in few cases the victims. The flow of the books is so haphazard I never knew when was the author talking about which subject.
While dealing with a sensitive topic like rape, an author should provide opinions with strong research based arguements and supported by facts. But instead Kaushal seems to provide her biased opinions on every subject and every topic without any solid scientific data to back her up. She doesnt seem neutral in her approach. And I honestly dont know what is with Kaushal’s love for internet slangs!
And the solution she gives at the end of the book to curb the rape pandemic is so simple and unreal, Universal Love and Human Rights. Only if it was so simple. The 3 stars are for the author’s attempt to bring a topic like Rape to books and the risks she took while researching for the same. Other than that, the book is just a waste of time.
October 17, 2020
Tara interviewed nine men for this book across India from different religion,culture and socio economic background who have raped.
Common thing between her subjects or I would say in maximum Indians are the misogynistic ideas about women gleaned from porn, bollywood, socioreligious environment and lack of sex education.
Though she had taken all precautionary measures while researching but then also it take lot of courage for a lady to interview rapists by being with them from morning to evening, Tara also escaped narrowly from one of her subject who planned to rape her.
After reading this book you will realize that around us there are many factors that can lead to develop a rapist mindset.
The only thing I disliked about this book is that are only 9 subjects out of 130 crore population are sufficient ? I am looking forward for a more researched and well written second part of this book.
It is a great but not a perfect book.
Do also read 'Our Bodies, Their Battlefield' by Christina Lamb on this topic.
Common thing between her subjects or I would say in maximum Indians are the misogynistic ideas about women gleaned from porn, bollywood, socioreligious environment and lack of sex education.
Though she had taken all precautionary measures while researching but then also it take lot of courage for a lady to interview rapists by being with them from morning to evening, Tara also escaped narrowly from one of her subject who planned to rape her.
After reading this book you will realize that around us there are many factors that can lead to develop a rapist mindset.
The only thing I disliked about this book is that are only 9 subjects out of 130 crore population are sufficient ? I am looking forward for a more researched and well written second part of this book.
It is a great but not a perfect book.
Do also read 'Our Bodies, Their Battlefield' by Christina Lamb on this topic.
March 7, 2021
While the narratives are haunting even for me (a man) , the chapters are a bit incoherent. It reads more like a social science thesis. However, it all comes together nicely in the end, in the last two chapters. Notwithstanding my average rating I would still encourage people to read this book, and act on it!
December 29, 2020
A bold effort from a talented writer and diligent researcher to write a book about rape in India.
I have read a lot of critical reviews here from experienced readers about the jumbled narrative but I will not delve into that.
The introduction of the book is very well written with statistics and honest bullet points. Similarly the last chapter of the book brings out her own forays with molestation and living in unsafe environment first hand.
Staying with nine rapists for a young female with a list of 250 questions was no joke and I applaud her for daring to do this.
So 5 stars for all of the above.
However one star deducted because the main reasons explored for rape are the social ones. Some childhood abuse in a handful of people is anecdotal at best.
There are lots of unexplored areas like genetic, psychological, environmental and many more which go to the formation of a sex terrorist.
Still I recommend this book because the young readers will find a lot of clues regarding abusive behaviour and the recent ways to avoid and report potential abusers.
I have read a lot of critical reviews here from experienced readers about the jumbled narrative but I will not delve into that.
The introduction of the book is very well written with statistics and honest bullet points. Similarly the last chapter of the book brings out her own forays with molestation and living in unsafe environment first hand.
Staying with nine rapists for a young female with a list of 250 questions was no joke and I applaud her for daring to do this.
So 5 stars for all of the above.
However one star deducted because the main reasons explored for rape are the social ones. Some childhood abuse in a handful of people is anecdotal at best.
There are lots of unexplored areas like genetic, psychological, environmental and many more which go to the formation of a sex terrorist.
Still I recommend this book because the young readers will find a lot of clues regarding abusive behaviour and the recent ways to avoid and report potential abusers.
September 17, 2020
The book is a mix of Tara Kaushal's personal observations as she talked to the (alleged) rapists and research on related topics like gender, sexuality, privilege, etc from around the world. It is great piece of literature research and the author has done a commendable job at consolidating all the facts on rape culture and presenting it to the reader in 250 pages. I just felt that this book will be more useful for someone who hasn't read much about rape culture and might work as an eye opener for them. I think i was expecting deeper analysis of the subjects or perpetrators the author interviewed for this book. However, as a journalistic investigation, this book is one of the most important ones that have been written on this subject in India.
May 7, 2021
I had great expectations from this book but ALAS!!! The author jumbled up the characters so much that in the end I remembered only 3or 4.
If it was a thoroughly researched book, then it should have been totally unbiased, which IT IS NOT. I know every person have their experiences and opinions, but rather than sticking to them, author should have researched the other side of the coin too.
P. S. The biggest rape allegations in the recent years (recent to the book too), was on the Kerala Priest, and I didn't see a single mention of that. Correct me if I'm wrong
If it was a thoroughly researched book, then it should have been totally unbiased, which IT IS NOT. I know every person have their experiences and opinions, but rather than sticking to them, author should have researched the other side of the coin too.
P. S. The biggest rape allegations in the recent years (recent to the book too), was on the Kerala Priest, and I didn't see a single mention of that. Correct me if I'm wrong
January 22, 2022
The book is a courageous piece of journalism but it could have benefitted from sharper editing. A steely effort nonetheless.
June 28, 2021
This is definitely a good but uncomfortable book to read for all and any survivors of harassment, molestation, groping, rape - the small everyday things we want to ignore as well as experiences that change the way you see life.
While the writing is a bit off putting at times and you might have to re-read some bits (esp if you don't understand Hindi), the author has dealt with some concepts very well. She sure has opinions that she's written about but certainly a survivor can "feel" what she means.
I agree with her on most accounts because I've had so many experiences and I've most of the privileges she speaks of without holding back. I was once blind to my privileges too but as she says, once you realize them and start to grow, you never stop. I relate to this part the most.
Some parts of the book are heavy - I warn you! I've stayed up late because of them, I've felt my heart race more often than I can count, teared up at times, felt inexplicably numb at certain others. I've tried to understand the plight of the perpetrators as much as I could that of the survivor. There are some moving stories, some very relatable, some unimaginable. Her courage to me is commendable - extending empathy to the survivors as well as to the perpetrators in context. It must have been a crazy adventure doing the things she's done for this project - the number of times she's been propositioned, threatened, made advances at suggestively and overtly, I can't imagine the roller coaster she took up when she signed up for this project!
She discusses the socioeconomic background, how patriarchal the families of the perpetrators were when they grew up, how much domestic violence was normalized, what kind of news they consume and how media promotes rape culture in the name of sensationalism, about all different kinds of rape and the absence of enough laws to even recognize them as "unlawful" or "illegal," how money, family, society, the environment all contribute to the making of the perpetrator (without justifying any of their behavior).
The analysis of what the author has intended to do hasn't been as in-depth as it might have been to come off as more strong and impressive. It certainly wasn't what I'd have expected in the book. But in her defense, she does confess she did what she did for whatever helps her grow. This clearly means she agrees that she's not an expert at everything she's written about but she's willing to grow and change as a person. She says that and proves it at different instances.
More than anything else, for anyone who's a survivor (I'm one and so are many many women, some men and other non-binaries), this book is an experience as much as it's art. I could feel somethings she felt and that was because of my experiences. The book makes you squirm as you read on (it's one you can't finish off reading in a week unless you're probably a sociopath) as the experiences are real and they give you unpleasant feelings, but at times it also makes you feel the triumph in her little victories or presence of mind, but mostly to me it is some form of art that reaches out to everyone who has experienced oppression in one form or another, especially as a woman sharing spaces with men everywhere. I love that about the book. For this reason alone, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book!
While the writing is a bit off putting at times and you might have to re-read some bits (esp if you don't understand Hindi), the author has dealt with some concepts very well. She sure has opinions that she's written about but certainly a survivor can "feel" what she means.
I agree with her on most accounts because I've had so many experiences and I've most of the privileges she speaks of without holding back. I was once blind to my privileges too but as she says, once you realize them and start to grow, you never stop. I relate to this part the most.
Some parts of the book are heavy - I warn you! I've stayed up late because of them, I've felt my heart race more often than I can count, teared up at times, felt inexplicably numb at certain others. I've tried to understand the plight of the perpetrators as much as I could that of the survivor. There are some moving stories, some very relatable, some unimaginable. Her courage to me is commendable - extending empathy to the survivors as well as to the perpetrators in context. It must have been a crazy adventure doing the things she's done for this project - the number of times she's been propositioned, threatened, made advances at suggestively and overtly, I can't imagine the roller coaster she took up when she signed up for this project!
She discusses the socioeconomic background, how patriarchal the families of the perpetrators were when they grew up, how much domestic violence was normalized, what kind of news they consume and how media promotes rape culture in the name of sensationalism, about all different kinds of rape and the absence of enough laws to even recognize them as "unlawful" or "illegal," how money, family, society, the environment all contribute to the making of the perpetrator (without justifying any of their behavior).
The analysis of what the author has intended to do hasn't been as in-depth as it might have been to come off as more strong and impressive. It certainly wasn't what I'd have expected in the book. But in her defense, she does confess she did what she did for whatever helps her grow. This clearly means she agrees that she's not an expert at everything she's written about but she's willing to grow and change as a person. She says that and proves it at different instances.
More than anything else, for anyone who's a survivor (I'm one and so are many many women, some men and other non-binaries), this book is an experience as much as it's art. I could feel somethings she felt and that was because of my experiences. The book makes you squirm as you read on (it's one you can't finish off reading in a week unless you're probably a sociopath) as the experiences are real and they give you unpleasant feelings, but at times it also makes you feel the triumph in her little victories or presence of mind, but mostly to me it is some form of art that reaches out to everyone who has experienced oppression in one form or another, especially as a woman sharing spaces with men everywhere. I love that about the book. For this reason alone, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book!
December 27, 2020
Sometimes there are books that ask you to pause , think and feel all kinds of emotions . They are heartbreaking yet important ; and this book was exactly that for me .
She is wears tight and short clothes , she roams out with guys at night , , she is outwardly and friendly, she smiles when she talks, isn't that a hint !? Women need to know who they are , they need to be kept under control , women these days are always wanting it , if saints can't control themselves , how can normal humans? Men get influenced by hormones and under alcohol , men are free beings. And the list of excuses are endless. It disgusts me everytime someone tries to justify a crime , so delicate in its form and so heartbreaking , RAPE.
.
This book is an account of interviews with nine men who are perpetrators and representives of rape who have different yet the same mindset which cultivates the rape culture in India. The book touches a myriad of topics starting from rapes , to gangrapes , marital rapes (which still many people think doesn't exist ) , child sexual abuse(these literally break my heart) , domestic violence, misogynistic Indian households , MeToo movement and how the people consider women's bodies as their ways of revenge and avenge .
.
This book is a blend of excerpts from the interviews, where the men don't even consider that they committed a crime(that disgusts me), the author's personal opinions and references and quotes by educated persons in this field. Why are men taught that they have a control over women and their bodies , why are men told since childhood that they are the "raja beta" and are superior. The hunger for power and substantial anger to keep women below them , hyper sexualizing and cheap depiction of women in Bollywood which directly or indirectly influences a large mass of people the illicit and free availability of porn and the deep rooted patriarchy ( which is also ill- affecting men folk equally) are some of the major causes that paves ways for these crimes to surface.
.
Although the narrative isn't smooth and is scattered and jumbled a bit , I would like to appreciate the author for being so courageous and conducting these interviews and extensive research .
.
I would recommend this book to everyone because as the book says "to stop it , you need to see it ." It's tragic and painful but we need to put an end to it.
.
Keep reading , spread love .♥️
She is wears tight and short clothes , she roams out with guys at night , , she is outwardly and friendly, she smiles when she talks, isn't that a hint !? Women need to know who they are , they need to be kept under control , women these days are always wanting it , if saints can't control themselves , how can normal humans? Men get influenced by hormones and under alcohol , men are free beings. And the list of excuses are endless. It disgusts me everytime someone tries to justify a crime , so delicate in its form and so heartbreaking , RAPE.
.
This book is an account of interviews with nine men who are perpetrators and representives of rape who have different yet the same mindset which cultivates the rape culture in India. The book touches a myriad of topics starting from rapes , to gangrapes , marital rapes (which still many people think doesn't exist ) , child sexual abuse(these literally break my heart) , domestic violence, misogynistic Indian households , MeToo movement and how the people consider women's bodies as their ways of revenge and avenge .
.
This book is a blend of excerpts from the interviews, where the men don't even consider that they committed a crime(that disgusts me), the author's personal opinions and references and quotes by educated persons in this field. Why are men taught that they have a control over women and their bodies , why are men told since childhood that they are the "raja beta" and are superior. The hunger for power and substantial anger to keep women below them , hyper sexualizing and cheap depiction of women in Bollywood which directly or indirectly influences a large mass of people the illicit and free availability of porn and the deep rooted patriarchy ( which is also ill- affecting men folk equally) are some of the major causes that paves ways for these crimes to surface.
.
Although the narrative isn't smooth and is scattered and jumbled a bit , I would like to appreciate the author for being so courageous and conducting these interviews and extensive research .
.
I would recommend this book to everyone because as the book says "to stop it , you need to see it ." It's tragic and painful but we need to put an end to it.
.
Keep reading , spread love .♥️
September 26, 2020
Why Men Rape: An Indian Undercover Investigation
by Tara Kaushal
The book goes beyond its menacing title to deliver unique thought provoking observations behind the scenes of sexual violence which are latent beneath the minds and thoughts of disguise. Tara Kaushal sets out on an investigation of nine particular men who are not only the representative of the rape culture in common, rather they portray significant other factors which are predominantly ignored including the definition of rape.
The author has written a book rooted so deep into the unexplored spikes of human nature, that it doesn't fail to create an embedded imprint which would not leave the minds of the reader for a very long time. This is one of those books where the expressions itself are so concrete given the fact that the men who were interviewed ranged from the profession of medical excellence to an unemployed men who had decided to kill his former lover.
Speaking of the narration, it was equipped with a promising aftereffect and research studies which are more of facts than the mere words. It is a blood-curdling revelation everytime, when the reason for rape is heard and it is hard to assimilate it especially living in a country where rape is a general phenomena for people are unaware of its meaning and its consequences.
Not only the men behind bars, but also prejudiced media coverage along with dramatization in cinematic exposure, these all things merge into one essence so quickly with injustice thereby leading an exponential growth in rape cases and its other attributes. Being the most common of the cause as stated by the author is the language we use in our day to day lives which is a concoction of abusive words relative to women in our society - which becomes the truth in a furthermore perspective.
Especially at these times of uncertainty where marital rape cases takes the blow over anything - Why men rape is a significant milestone in understanding this hard-core word with a practical, legal, emotional and physical approach.
"To stop it, you have to see it."
by Tara Kaushal
The book goes beyond its menacing title to deliver unique thought provoking observations behind the scenes of sexual violence which are latent beneath the minds and thoughts of disguise. Tara Kaushal sets out on an investigation of nine particular men who are not only the representative of the rape culture in common, rather they portray significant other factors which are predominantly ignored including the definition of rape.
The author has written a book rooted so deep into the unexplored spikes of human nature, that it doesn't fail to create an embedded imprint which would not leave the minds of the reader for a very long time. This is one of those books where the expressions itself are so concrete given the fact that the men who were interviewed ranged from the profession of medical excellence to an unemployed men who had decided to kill his former lover.
Speaking of the narration, it was equipped with a promising aftereffect and research studies which are more of facts than the mere words. It is a blood-curdling revelation everytime, when the reason for rape is heard and it is hard to assimilate it especially living in a country where rape is a general phenomena for people are unaware of its meaning and its consequences.
Not only the men behind bars, but also prejudiced media coverage along with dramatization in cinematic exposure, these all things merge into one essence so quickly with injustice thereby leading an exponential growth in rape cases and its other attributes. Being the most common of the cause as stated by the author is the language we use in our day to day lives which is a concoction of abusive words relative to women in our society - which becomes the truth in a furthermore perspective.
Especially at these times of uncertainty where marital rape cases takes the blow over anything - Why men rape is a significant milestone in understanding this hard-core word with a practical, legal, emotional and physical approach.
"To stop it, you have to see it."
January 18, 2021
What made me randomly choose this book and have it on my table from an Amazon tab on my laptop was the title. Like the people described in the book, I too, had normalised rape. It happens, it is published as a news article, life goes on. ‘Why Men Rape,’ nobody thinks about it. I know I didn’t.
The title made me think, made me want to read, made me want to know.
The matter where I agree the most with the author is when she points out that not only cis-women are raped, but cis-men and genders beyond the binary are also raped.
What distinct women is the fear of rape that drives them. This fear is turned into ‘safety’ and ‘safety’ silently merges into patriarchy. After all, beti ko bachaana hai to use ghar pe rakho, shaitaan jo bahar ghoom rahe hain. Shaitaan has to be tamed.
Patriarchy fails to recognise the need of a better upbringing for our boys, where they learn that women and men are equal and they do not have the right to misbehave with anyone just because they were born with male genitalia.
Anyway, what I did like about the book was that the undercover investigation was inclusive of different sections of society and people from different corners of the country. She very well points about the problems that lie at the root of this.
Since the book talks about one side of the story, women being raped, it unconsciously creates a bias. It is important to understand the male psychology in order to know why they rape, but I felt that it went completely down the hill for them. By the end, I ended up questioning all the males in my life, despite the trust I have in them.
‘Not all men’ is not a valid defence, but there is truth in the statement.
Despite everything, I believe the author has discovered the answer well, why men rape, and explained it even better.
This book was an eye-opener for me, I strongly recommend it.
The title made me think, made me want to read, made me want to know.
The matter where I agree the most with the author is when she points out that not only cis-women are raped, but cis-men and genders beyond the binary are also raped.
What distinct women is the fear of rape that drives them. This fear is turned into ‘safety’ and ‘safety’ silently merges into patriarchy. After all, beti ko bachaana hai to use ghar pe rakho, shaitaan jo bahar ghoom rahe hain. Shaitaan has to be tamed.
Patriarchy fails to recognise the need of a better upbringing for our boys, where they learn that women and men are equal and they do not have the right to misbehave with anyone just because they were born with male genitalia.
Anyway, what I did like about the book was that the undercover investigation was inclusive of different sections of society and people from different corners of the country. She very well points about the problems that lie at the root of this.
Since the book talks about one side of the story, women being raped, it unconsciously creates a bias. It is important to understand the male psychology in order to know why they rape, but I felt that it went completely down the hill for them. By the end, I ended up questioning all the males in my life, despite the trust I have in them.
‘Not all men’ is not a valid defence, but there is truth in the statement.
Despite everything, I believe the author has discovered the answer well, why men rape, and explained it even better.
This book was an eye-opener for me, I strongly recommend it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 8, 2021
Heartbreaking and enlightening read. Tara Kaushal got in contact with 9 rapists; selected to represent the Indian population in terms of age, religion, and caste. All of them are out and about. One is still practicing as a senior doctor in India's medical society. Through rigorous qualitative research ( both antropological and sociological in method), Tara Kaushal takes us through a journey of investigating why men rape.
The academic understanding is all rapes have 3 components present: power, anger, and sexuality. There is generally a confusion to what consistutes a rape and this is partly thanks to the media and religious codes. A "no" is dismissed as just playing hard to get. A rape is the answer to a man's failure to pay his USD 70 debt (yes, let that sink in). For certain men, the rape of Jyoti Singh was outrageous not because of the rape, but the use of a rod... and the fact that the one who got raped belongs to a higher level of society. And the most heartbreaking point of the book for me was that part where it is explained that gender violence increases as women's emancipation does... The irony, no?
Definitely not the easiest book to read. People talking about horror reads for Halloween but honesy tho, human beings are scariest... BUT at the same time, we as society can change this. There are women in Tara Kaushal's book (again consider the class and privilege of this group of survivors) who bounce back and thrive. Succumbing to hopelessness is precisely what hegemonic masculinity expects. The key takeaway for me would be to not sit on my privilege and to work hard to bring a better world. As a victim of CSA myself, I know fire burns things to dust... But fire tempers steel. I'm that steel sword and I will not be put away in my sheath.
The academic understanding is all rapes have 3 components present: power, anger, and sexuality. There is generally a confusion to what consistutes a rape and this is partly thanks to the media and religious codes. A "no" is dismissed as just playing hard to get. A rape is the answer to a man's failure to pay his USD 70 debt (yes, let that sink in). For certain men, the rape of Jyoti Singh was outrageous not because of the rape, but the use of a rod... and the fact that the one who got raped belongs to a higher level of society. And the most heartbreaking point of the book for me was that part where it is explained that gender violence increases as women's emancipation does... The irony, no?
Definitely not the easiest book to read. People talking about horror reads for Halloween but honesy tho, human beings are scariest... BUT at the same time, we as society can change this. There are women in Tara Kaushal's book (again consider the class and privilege of this group of survivors) who bounce back and thrive. Succumbing to hopelessness is precisely what hegemonic masculinity expects. The key takeaway for me would be to not sit on my privilege and to work hard to bring a better world. As a victim of CSA myself, I know fire burns things to dust... But fire tempers steel. I'm that steel sword and I will not be put away in my sheath.
September 11, 2021
Nice book , Although I disagree on some drawn conclusion by the Feminist author . She cannot blame everything on just caste ,culture ,etc . Because it isnt a thing in our past In ancient times Women were much respected , As opposed to what she tried to portray .
Anyway The only thing you will regret reading this is just that she doesnot know much about Our own culture , but talk and draw conclusion upon it . calling India to be much worse then the rest world . And as I read many books about position of women in the west , I am sure thats not true at all .
What you will like in her work is that she genuinly put you into her thoughts and her circumstances and deal with what she went through throughout her journey + Give insight to How Phycology of a man develop before he do such crimes . She done all this by Decepting the criminals and interviewing them .7 of them being Hindu 1 muslim and 1 christan dalit . She also interviewed Delhi gangrape convict if i remember Its a short book with some Hindi in between
Its a good book overall
Anyway The only thing you will regret reading this is just that she doesnot know much about Our own culture , but talk and draw conclusion upon it . calling India to be much worse then the rest world . And as I read many books about position of women in the west , I am sure thats not true at all .
What you will like in her work is that she genuinly put you into her thoughts and her circumstances and deal with what she went through throughout her journey + Give insight to How Phycology of a man develop before he do such crimes . She done all this by Decepting the criminals and interviewing them .7 of them being Hindu 1 muslim and 1 christan dalit . She also interviewed Delhi gangrape convict if i remember Its a short book with some Hindi in between
Its a good book overall
March 16, 2021
In my opinion, this is a read that we have to have. I loved the depth tara had analysed the issues and it was really an eye opener. From religion, language, power... The book really made me look back to my actions and conversation that I had often neglected.
Having said this, I must also add that the book was a drag for me during the first session as well as at the ending. I guess the reason for my lack of interest during the first set was because it was related to people with whom I could feebly relate. My experience with these people is very low, so maybe that could be the reason. Also towards the conclusion part, I felt the author dragging. Explaining about each and every sentences, about money, capitalism etc...
Overall I would say the books second and third sections are a must read to every Indian. It gets you start thinking more about yourself. Hats off to the author, for inspiring me to read more about myself when I thought I was a decent gentleman.
Having said this, I must also add that the book was a drag for me during the first session as well as at the ending. I guess the reason for my lack of interest during the first set was because it was related to people with whom I could feebly relate. My experience with these people is very low, so maybe that could be the reason. Also towards the conclusion part, I felt the author dragging. Explaining about each and every sentences, about money, capitalism etc...
Overall I would say the books second and third sections are a must read to every Indian. It gets you start thinking more about yourself. Hats off to the author, for inspiring me to read more about myself when I thought I was a decent gentleman.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 14, 2021
This is a very nice, well researched, well written book that appropriately explains economic, cultural, social and biological reasons for rape. The topic is not sensationalized, because that might feed rapists’ souls; instead, it is empirical, technical, theorized and very scientific. It’s hard not to think about and question our sociocultural norms after reading this book. This book clearly justifies the fact that ‘Feminism is not a battle between men and women but between the ideologies of patriarchy (or conservative, feudal norms) and human rights’. In last one chapter, where she tries to suggest a solution for this issue lacks technical details; it seemed more like selfhelp-spiritual-Osho-Deepak Chopra stuff. But anyways, that last chapter shouldn’t stop you from reading this book. It is of course a must read book.
December 23, 2020
For: Everyone
Genre: Society & Culture/ Burning Issue
An eye-opening book, which not only talked about ‘rape’, but various other pertinent issues co-exist in society, including religion, child marriage, caste, etc. Tara, the author, went as an under-cover agent and interviewed 9 subjects (Indian men) of different socio-economic strata, religion, and geographical backgrounds. These interviews lead to some shocking confessions and disturbing facts that are difficult to ignore and to digest. Some chilling details and data cited (It provides plenty of resources to look into for further research/studies). Some of the best researchers quoted by Tara, which were just to the point.
It also covered the basic yet complex issue, like the meaning of rape itself. Further, it touches on various other aspects like child sexual abuse, illicit and free availability of porn, lack of sex education, gang rapes, marital rape, MeToo movement, and various factors influencing rape, etc. And here! It becomes chaos. A need for better and more extensive analysis is requisite. Though, I also fathom the fact that it’s not possible to do in a 250 pages book.
Honestly, in the end, I could not find myself appreciating Tara’s writing style, which is more of a chaotic nature because of a lack of a uniform way of storytelling of one subject at a time. However, I absolutely commend and praise Tara to firstly think to do this dangerous project all on her own and then finishing it by the way of eventually authoring this book.
Genre: Society & Culture/ Burning Issue
An eye-opening book, which not only talked about ‘rape’, but various other pertinent issues co-exist in society, including religion, child marriage, caste, etc. Tara, the author, went as an under-cover agent and interviewed 9 subjects (Indian men) of different socio-economic strata, religion, and geographical backgrounds. These interviews lead to some shocking confessions and disturbing facts that are difficult to ignore and to digest. Some chilling details and data cited (It provides plenty of resources to look into for further research/studies). Some of the best researchers quoted by Tara, which were just to the point.
It also covered the basic yet complex issue, like the meaning of rape itself. Further, it touches on various other aspects like child sexual abuse, illicit and free availability of porn, lack of sex education, gang rapes, marital rape, MeToo movement, and various factors influencing rape, etc. And here! It becomes chaos. A need for better and more extensive analysis is requisite. Though, I also fathom the fact that it’s not possible to do in a 250 pages book.
Honestly, in the end, I could not find myself appreciating Tara’s writing style, which is more of a chaotic nature because of a lack of a uniform way of storytelling of one subject at a time. However, I absolutely commend and praise Tara to firstly think to do this dangerous project all on her own and then finishing it by the way of eventually authoring this book.
August 23, 2020
The book was thrilling and surprising as Tara Kaushal interviewed men of all types of societies. The book sets out to investigate the men who have raped before or have been the attacker of sexual violence or domestic violence. I got to know from this book that the difference between an educated man and an illiterate man is nothing. The doctor who raped his 12-year-old patient and a man who thought that rapes don't exist. I would recommend this book to all the girls and women out there from the age of 16. the book is bitter and informative that what kind of rapes exist out there in the world
April 23, 2021
This is a truly groundbreaking book. Every Indian, diaspora and otherwise, should read it in order to understand the pervasiveness and perversity of misogyny within our larger culture.
I did feel like there were a few points where she didn’t quite drive her arguments home regarding the causes of rape (I don’t believe that finding true love alone can prevent men from assaulting women, and she did not successfully convince me).
I did feel like there were a few points where she didn’t quite drive her arguments home regarding the causes of rape (I don’t believe that finding true love alone can prevent men from assaulting women, and she did not successfully convince me).
July 19, 2021
As the title suggest it is a topic necessary to ask. Author did a splendid job on her part and have compiled various reasons which need to be addressed.
Atleast every man must read it which might push it toward a trickle down effect of thoughts within the society and somewhere we have to start.
The only thing which I felt needs improvement is the structure of the book and little bit of the language because it diminishes the impact of the topic which it deserves.
Atleast every man must read it which might push it toward a trickle down effect of thoughts within the society and somewhere we have to start.
The only thing which I felt needs improvement is the structure of the book and little bit of the language because it diminishes the impact of the topic which it deserves.
January 23, 2024
The book is an excellent masterpiece and gives a deep insight of the causes of rape especially Indian men from sociological, economical, psychological, religious, cultural, linguistic perspectives etc., As an advocate, it's gives me immense knowledge of the various causes of rape from the world of perpetrators. For general public and especially criminologists, law makers and policy makers- this book is a must one to read!
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March 17, 2021A survivor herself, the author went undercover and zeroed in on 9 rapists and interviewed them. The narrative style is barely effective and as a result, not impactful. There is quite some data as well as some references mentioned but does not manage to leave an impression on the reader for the topic it boasts to cover and even under threatened circumstances.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 16, 2021
Disappointed.
Was looking forward to read this book but the lack of research soon became clear, still an intriguing read once I got around the fact that the book is more opinionated rather than factual.
Some eye-opening issues were rightly pointed out with their reasoning explained , would still recommend.
Was looking forward to read this book but the lack of research soon became clear, still an intriguing read once I got around the fact that the book is more opinionated rather than factual.
Some eye-opening issues were rightly pointed out with their reasoning explained , would still recommend.
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