Quiz: Which “Yellowjackets” Character Are You?

Happy Yellowjackets finale day!!!!! If your entire weekend and week leading up to it hasn’t been built around this television event, well then I simply cannot relate. I’ve been working hard on my recap of the finale, which goes live tomorrow morning. Will I manage to keep it under 5k words? Who’s to say! In the meantime, you can catch up on my past recaps, chime in with your theories about the supernatural presence (or lack thereof), and also take this quiz I spent too much time making!!!!!

Also, if you’re an A+ member, you can join in on the virtual finale watchalong party I’m hosting tonight! If you’re not an A+ member, doesn’t this sound like the perfect excuse to become one?! You can also gift someone else with a membership or sign up to receive a free one via the A+ gift membership pool!

Now, I am well aware that Buzzfeed already provided a Yellowjackets quiz (I got Misty btw), and does the world really need more than one? Yes! We deserve this! Because first of all I have been working on this quiz for like three weeks. But second of all, it’s a slightly different style! Much like the horror movie stocktype quiz and zombie apocalypse quiz I concocted in the past, this is part-personality-quiz/part-pick-your-own-adventure. I’ve outlined an imaginary, Yellowjackets-inspired survival horror plot for you to make some choices about.

At first, I was going to limit result possibilities to only characters who were on the plane, but where’s the fun in that! So it’s most of the plane characters plus a few bonus folks who only exist in the 2021 timeline. You will note that some characters still didn’t make the cut! I’m sorry! There are just, like, so many characters on this show, and I am on some level fascinated by ALL OF THEM and their bad choices. But there are only so many quiz questions and answers I can come up with.

So, go ahead! Put yourself in the fractured mindsets of these messy characters! See where it leads ya!

Note: The results do contain plot spoilers through episode nine but no major finale spoilers.

It’s the day of a trip. You and a group of your close friends are all heading to a big, important event. A sports tournament, say. Or, if you’re not an athlete, maybe a wedding or a group vacation or a writer’s retreat. In any case, it’s a big trip, and you’re excited. What’s something you’re making sure to pack first because you’d never travel without it?(Required)
What’s your strategy for getting to the airport for the big trip?(Required)
Okay, great. Everyone’s here who’s supposed to be. Things seem to be going smoothly. There’s even a little time for a snack. Which of these classic airport joints are you popping into?(Required)
Boarding time! Everyone gets on the plane. What’s your first move?(Required)
You’re up in the air, and something suddenly doesn’t feel right. The plane is shaking a lot. This doesn’t feel like normal turbulence. You look out the window and, oh god, does it seem like you’re descending way too fast? QUICK — what’s your first instinct?(Required)
Ok, this is really happening. You’re really in a fucking plane crash. There’s a loud sound; there’s smoke everywhere; you can barely see or hear anything, but you know you have to get out of here. You make it off the plane and realize you gotta act quickly. Stuff is burning all around you. What do you try to locate first?(Required)
After a round of intense triage, most of your group is alive but also injured. You take a moment to look at your surroundings. Unlike the characters of Yellowjackets, you’ve gone down in some sort of tropical environment. It’s still the wilderness, but think more Florida Everglades than Canadian woods. Everyone’s sitting in a circle trying to figure out what the fuck to do. In the universe of this quiz, the television show Yellowjackets does exist, and everyone’s thinking about it. You finally break the silence. What do you say:(Required)
So that one person about the cell phone was probably right. Surely someone’s iPhone survived the crash. Surely there’s no Misty in this group going around destroying anything that could lead to our rescue. Hmmm I wouldn’t be so sure about that! If any cell phones survived, you can’t find them. And now the group is very tired from patrolling the crash site. Someone suggests making a fire. How do you make yourself useful?(Required)
The fire is built, and for at least tonight, you’re going to sleep out here in the open. There’s some rustling in the distance, but you choose to ignore that for now. Everyone goes around and says how they’re feeling. How are YOU feeling?(Required)
Now that you’ve got the feelings covered, it’s time to talk logistics. Someone proposes going around the circle and saying one skill they can bring to the table from their normal lives that might be useful in a survival horror scenario.(Required)
Sure, sure, fashion doesn’t matter in this situation, but pick a disaster fit to rock while fighting for you life in the wilderness For pure aesthetic reasons/not based on functionality, weather, etc.:(Required)
Okay, BACK to reality. Specifically, your new reality. Which is that you’re stuck in the swampy wilderness with a group of friends, and everyone is gradually unraveling. You’re on day 10. You have found shelter. Specifically, an abandoned shack. Thankfully, there aren’t any corpses in it. But it’s close quarters, and the food situation is getting a little rough. Someone found a fishing pole, and you’ve been living off fish. What specific food craving is keeping you up at night?(Required)
You’re all sitting outside eating your fish one night when there’s…a rustle. Something is coming. In the split second before you know what it is, you’re imagining the worst. On that note, which of the following creatures — real or imagined — sounds the scariest to you personally?(Required)
Surprise! It’s none of those things. It’s an alligator! What’s your move?(Required)
Someone indeed successfully kills the gator with the crossbow that mysteriously appeared. Have they been hiding it this whole time? And why? In any case, you’ve got a crossbow and you’ve got gator meat for dinner! Hooray! Things are maybe looking up! But also temperatures have been steadily rising ever since the crash. During the day, you fantasize about a nice, tall, cold glass of:(Required)
Over a hearty meal of gator bites, you all recall that show Yellowjackets. Ahh, remember when you first crashed and you thought surely your lives would not ever look the way that wild show did? Now here you are, living the swampy warm weather version of it. To pass the time, you all talk about the show again. What do you say your favorite episode was?(Required)
Speaking of the show, even though no one found an iPhone, someone DID find an iPod (old school!) in the wreckage. It’s preloaded inexplicably with nothing but the official Yellowjackets soundtrack. What song becomes your new anthem in the wilderness?(Required)
It’s finally sinking in that you’re going to be out here a good long while. Hope you manage to get out of here before you start having to eat each other ha ha ha! In the meantime, what else do you do to pass time day in and out?(Required)

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 813 articles for us.

33 Comments

  2. Caligula??? Wild! I don’t know what to do with that info

    When I saw AQ on the outfit question I genuinely laughed out loud imagining an alternate universe where she’s a model for Abercrombie and Fitch

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  5. Nat! I am not displeased with these results. I mean I’d never be remotely interested in Travis but chances are I would begin an intense situationship with the least good for me person! The AQ outfit being included in the style section made me laugh and obviously I chose it immediately because if I’m living in my dream universe that would be the daily fashion style. With some more utilitarian options and less possibly human hair.

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  8. I’m Akilah. And of course I don’t know what that means but I am a skilled but underestimated individual with a sewing kit. (wouldn’t use my fabric scissors on human flesh but sure, I’d use my sewing needles to sew up someone’s wounds).

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  12. I’m Jessica Roberts & I don’t hate it!

    “A hot and mysterious bad bitch! Listen, I still don’t entirely understand your job. It seems to be like a freelance and less legal version of Kalinda Sharma’s job maybe? I’m pretty sure you’ve killed people, but you know what? I like you, and I like this whole thing you have going on with Misty in the murder basement. Your skills include threatening others, talking your way out of things, and figuring out what people want. Also, you somehow always look good — even in the midst of being kidnapped!”

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  17. MISTY FUCKING QUIGLEY? Okay I will accept this for the good of the group. As long as we can all be friends. I acknowledge that I have strong assistant stage manager vibes, okay? Can I make anyone some tea? Or, like, help you move a body? HAHA idk whatever. I. Am. Here. For. You.
    Great quiz, thanks Kayla.

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