Jake.

I've been struggling to find my words for days and to sort through my feelings ever since I got the news on Sunday. 

Jake and I had our ups and downs and may not have been close in the last few years, but we also had five years of solid and really close friendship before that. We didn’t document it really, instead, we talked at depth over dinners, breakfasts, lunches, and voice memos around our normal life and work and of course his plan to be a billionaire one day, and my plan to have a flexible existence and to be the best community builder ever. We had many adventures, would enjoy tea together, running on the treadmill and would you believe it watched more movies at the cinema then we did attend nice dinners or parties. 

I’ll miss you, the man and the boy, not just the founder and entrepreneur. He was brilliant, charming, persuasive, curious, on occasion annoying and naive and some of you will agree a total rascal too. 

He inspired a generation to thinker bigger than they ever had before, and what’s more he made age just a number, rather than something to be looked down on. He had a lot to learn like we all do, and that’s what he filled his 20’s trying to do. I’ll miss our quiet chats, his occasional rants, and his ability to walk up to anyone and strike up a conversation, particularly if they were famous. 

My life has been haunted by suicide for the last 17 years, I had hoped my running tally would be capped by now, but here we are. I’m heartbroken. A true pandemic that affects every single one of us. My dad, two uncles, a best friend and now Jake. Someone who I shared much of my 20’s, while I was trying to figure myself out, and take on the business world too. 

What I’ve learned from trying to reconcile my own experiences with suicide is two fold: one, it’s never done me any good to blame anyone, and two, I’ll never know. You can ask yourself what if until you are blue in the face, but the hard reality that I’ve learned is that the truth dies when they die and no amount of speculating is going to change that. 

It’s good to honour the dead, not put them on a pedestal. The only thing we have is our memories and experiences with them. I have poured over my videos, photos, texts, voice memos, and letters (IYKYK) over the last 48 hours, and whilst it’s made me immensely sad it’s also made me really grateful that I met Jake and was lucky enough to call him a friend for a while. He opened my eyes and inspired me in ways I didn’t know were possible, I’ll always cherish him for supporting my journey helping entrepreneurs too. 

He had a knack for opening doors and we both shared a love for connecting people, opportunity, interviewing, and the power of video and education to inspire. I met many of my closest people through him and for that I’ll be eternally grateful. 

To Robyn and Flynn, my heart pours out to you, I’m so sorry for another loss to your family. And to Jake’s community, I’m sorry too, I know you were there. 

And finally, to you Jake, while sad, it makes me happy to know that you're not in pain anymore, that your brain and heart get to rest easy a little, that you get to reunite with your dad, and I hope that where ever you are, you get to be the you that you always wanted to be. 

See you again, and for now, please take care of my dad too. 

❤️‍🩹🥺