three retro lookin' boyband members, chiselled, tousled hair, moody smoulder, the whole shebang
The contents of this journalists brain when asked for inspiration: A-ha circa 1985: from left, Pål Waaktaar, Magne ‘Mags’ Furuholmen, Morten Harket

Pop CultureMarch 4, 2020

Hold me close to your heart: On loving A-ha for 35 years

three retro lookin' boyband members, chiselled, tousled hair, moody smoulder, the whole shebang
The contents of this journalists brain when asked for inspiration: A-ha circa 1985: from left, Pål Waaktaar, Magne ‘Mags’ Furuholmen, Morten Harket

This week, the Norwegian band A-ha will play their first ever dates in New Zealand. Though it’s been more than three decades since the release of their timeless debut single ‘Take on Me’, sometimes it seems like it was only yesterday, writes Catherine McGregor.

It’s a Saturday evening in the spring of 1985 and I’m sitting cross legged in front of the Sony Trinitron, close enough to change the channel without getting up. The clock has just struck 6pm, and my absolute favourite show ever ever ever is about to start. Ready to Roll counts down the top 20 songs in New Zealand that week – rankings that I obsess over with all the intensity of a Victorian actuary – then segues into full clips of the big hits and new chart entries. I love Ready to Roll, even when I hate the songs it plays.

And I hate a lot of them – 1985 is not a good year to be a preteen pop fan. Power ballads rule the airwaves and the charts are dominated by artists who are either pushing middle-age or acting like it. That week the top 20 plays host to Dire Straits, Aretha Franklin, Stevie Wonder, Mick Jagger and David Bowie; the turgid “Power of Love” is a huge smash for Jennifer Rush, just 25.

But then, suddenly, there’s “Take on Me”, a giddy three-minute-45-second rush of youthfulness and joy. It starts with a drumbeat, and then bass, and then that instantly memorable synth line kicks in. I’d say it’s a synth riff, but the word sounds all wrong. In 1985, riffs are the new sound of the Reagan era, played on electric guitars by rich guys with permed hair and pained expressions. The debut single for a trio of young Norwegians named A-ha, “Take on Me” sounds like a throwback, an early-80s synthpop single released just a few years too late. Its cousins are songs like The Human League’s “(Keep Feeling) Fascination” and Yazoo’s “Don’t Go” – vestiges of that brief but glorious interregnum between the 70s and 80s reigns of bass, drums and electric guitar.

None of which I realise when I first hear “Take on Me”, of course. All I know is it’s a great song for singing along to, and one that I’ll be taping off 4XO, Dunedin’s commercial radio station, at the earliest opportunity. But what I’m really enthralled by is the music video, a zippy comic-book romance told through rotoscoping, an animation technique that combines live action with pen and ink to produce a quasi-realistic look. It’s a cool effect, especially for 1985, and if you haven’t seen “Take on Me” in a while I encourage you to join the more than one billion people who have watched this video since it was uploaded 10 years ago.

Back then, though, it’s not the innovative animation techniques that hold my attention. No, it’s Morten Harket, the lead singer with a singing range as high as his perfectly sculpted cheekbones (“I thought, how can somebody who looks like a film star sound like Roy Orbison? This is unbelievable,” a music exec will later say of the first time he heard Harket sing). He’s so beautiful it’s physically difficult to look at him; when I inevitably Blu-tack an A-ha poster to my bedroom wall, I’ll decide that my favourite member isn’t Harket, nor the equally model-like keyboardist Mags Furuholmen, but Pål Waaktaar, the band’s main songwriter and the least aggressively handsome of the three.

When the less joyful follow-up single “The Sun Always Shines on TV” is released, I like it, too, though not as much as “Take on Me”. Before summer is over, my brief love affair with A-ha is at an end. I have new bands to obsess over, and only so much space on my bedroom wall.

It’s a Saturday evening sometime in the mid 90s and I’m in a bar on the main street of Christchurch. Every week I meet my friends here to drink and cheer as one of our group sings melancholy cover versions for the assembled crowd. We all work in record stores – they in a much cooler one than me – and we all listen to the same kind of music: soaring choruses, string sections, minor keys. We like songs about lonely hearts and broken people; that a song has a “tinge of sadness” is the highest compliment we can pay.

Now our musician friend is singing a yearning lyric I haven’t heard in years: “Oh c’mon, please now, talk to me/Tell me things I could find helpful.” It’s “I’ve Been Losing You” from A-ha’s second album Scoundrel Days, and hearing it stripped down to just acoustic guitar and voice, one thing becomes clear: this song is goddamn incredible.

At home, I delve further into A-ha’s back catalogue. I’ll be the first to admit that a lot of the songs haven’t aged well, but at their best they stand alongside the greatest pop music of the late 80s. A-ha almost sound like their musical contemporaries, but not quite. They’re set apart by their Europeanness; by their weakness for dramatic flourishes that risk tipping over into histrionics; by Harket’s incredible octave-skipping voice. Besides “I’ve Been Losing You”, I fall hard for the ridiculously operatic “Manhattan Skyline”, the propulsive “The Blood That Moves the Body” and most of all, for the stunning “Stay on These Roads”.

The title track of A-ha’s third album, “Stay on These Roads” should have been a massive hit; failing that, it should have played beneath the end credits of that year’s biggest, most bittersweet romantic drama. For the full “Stay on These Roads” experience, I recommend driving somewhere solitary and windswept, preferably in the rain, and playing it at full, window-rattling blast. You could hardly feel more Nordic.

I’ve kept checking in with A-ha over the decades. After a long hiatus in the 90s, they released their comeback Minor Earth, Major Sky in 2000, followed by a new album every few years since. All of them are full of surprisingly solid pop-rock songs, with little of the melodrama of their late 80s pomp. This year A-ha will mark 38 years together as a band, and tomorrow they begin a short run of dates in New Zealand, their first ever appearances here.

As much as I love A-ha, and as good as they’ll be live, I probably won’t go to the show. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug, and I prefer to take my dose alone, headphones on, remembering a time when I was young and pop music meant everything in the world to me.

A-ha play in the Horncastle Arena, Christchurch, on March 5 and Villa Maria Winery, Auckland, on March 7. More info here.

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Pop CultureMarch 3, 2020

The Bachelorette NZ Power Rankings: From jail to the funny farm

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Alex Casey delivers her ninth power rankings for The Bachelorette NZ, where the lads escape the concrete jungle for the rolling countryside. Click here for previous instalments

Something I’ve been thinking about at 3am every night is this: what if The Bachelorette NZ isn’t reality TV show at all but a Lost-style high concept drama? My cool conspiracy theory is that the boys all actually carked it on the flight to Argentina, meaning that the Buenos Aires prison is actually purgatory and the farm is the final ascension of their souls aka heaven. 

The boys run to meet their maker

And if it’s not a scripted drama then at least we’ve found the brand new reality format taking the world by storm in 2021: 

We’ve gone rural this week to escape the concrete jungle and take an ice cold “grasp” of that fresh country air. Nothing warms the heart more than a bunch of grown-ass men bounding onto the lawn like a bunch of happy beagles freed from an animal testing lab in that viral video my mum keeps sharing with me on Facebook. And NOTHING is more Kiwi values than those same grown ass men immediately shrieking “WATCH OUT FOR PRICKLES”. 

Our Bachelorettes have also had a week of equally prickly revelations. Lesina has started to accept that her pursuit of perfection, for both herself and her suitors, is probably as futile as trying to put pants on Elliott. Lily also Realised Stuff while riding an unruly horse – she needs to relinquish a bit of control and just be at peace with whatever happens on the journey. I believe a wise Love Island philosopher once summed it by saying “it is what it is”. Or was that Descartes? 

And, on that note, let’s get on with the show. 

ELIMINATED: Steve

This week we found out that Steve’s chemistry game sucks, which is weird because we know he’s an expert in Fe aka Iron aka HEAVY FUCKING METAL BAYYYBEEEE

Despite rockin’ the cocktail party, he was unable to rock Lesina’s world. I guess there’s only so many times you can tell someone they remind you of your dad before the spark fizzles out. And there’s probably only so many times you can ask for a kiss before things get tense. And there’s only so many times you can wear beige chinos to a rose ceremony before you just look naked. 

ELIMINATED: George

Gorgie Georgie pudding and pie, kissed no girls but still made everybody cry. 

ELMER FUDD IMPERSONATED: Elliott

Elliott’s main goal this week was not to woo Lily in the pursuit of true love, but to catch an Argentinian rabbit. Sorry, wabbit. Using half an apple and a trap mechanism he found in the forest nearby, Elliott waited and waited and waited but no rabbit came near. And if you have a problem with that, well, to that I say ?grow?up?Peter?Pan?. 

LILY’S LARRIKINS

5) Terence

It was on his single date with Lily that Terence’s walls finally came tumbling down. He opened up about his own experience with depression and it led to a pretty revelatory conversation about masculinity, mental health and trying to suck it all up and put on a brave face because you don’t want to be a burden. Nothing but respect for the T man.

Sidenote: how come Elliott got his full cheeks on display last week and Terence gets slapped with a peach emoji? This is ass erasure, rump privilege and truly the bum end of the deal. 

4) Jesse

Poor Jesse has never been more absolutely gutted than when he thought his main man Liam had got the biff. He wept:

He slept:

Then he got poetic:

3) Liam

For a guy who constantly harps on about how intelligent and deep he is, Liam sure loves swimming in very thick, very drownable denim jorts. Look, I love Liam but I’m also confused by Liam. One minute he’s telling Lily that he can’t give 100% because he 100% knows that he won’t leave Perth, nek minuit he’s saying he’s falling for her. “I thought Lily was tapped and then realised she was holistic,” was the weirdest thing I’d heard a person say about another person, until Liam referred to himself on multiple occasions as the one, the only…

2) Quinn

I wish I loved anything as much as Quinn loves giving a thoughtful, gorgeous and beautiful gift. The guy has been pure Santa from that hand-crafted steel rose on the first night to the tiny dirt bike he gave Lily this week. It made her feel all gooey and melty inside, forgetting the fact that Quinn had clearly stolen the local rabbits’ getaway vehicle for when Elliott Fudd comes a-knocking. 

1) Richie

Drop crotch lalas finally decided he was going to go after Lily this week, and expressed his decision through the majesty of meats. Lily says their time together has “just that right amount of nervousness that makes it exciting”, because nothing is more exciting than knowing whether or not someone is about to drop a whole lot of hot pork on your lap. So to speak. 

LESINA’S LADS

4) Michael

Michael saying “that’s me to a forté” is absolutely me to a forté. This week we learned so much more about the mysterious man from Dargaville, including that he once made a cake by putting all the ingredients in a tin and not bothering to mix it together, and that he is “into homekill”. 

Never leave us, barbecue king master. 

3) Logan

Obsessed with the fact that Logan has been using his new notebook to jot down movie ideas. Based on his performance this week, I’d wager he has written an epic yarn about a superhero man who scours the Earth negging women to hell and then soothing them with slices of cheese. What could we call it I wonder??? 

2) Aaron

Aaron was very gutted to find out that Lesina doesn’t work in just one hospitable all year round, and is wondering how that will fit into his life, as if that is more important than trying to figure out where they are going to put the gottage to house his 49,000 hats. 

1) Mike

Mike stuck his beautiful neck out this week when he furrowed his handsome eyebrows, burrowed his piercing blue eyes into Lesina’s soul, and said five simple words: give me a fucking rose. It was bold, it was a big risk, and it evidently paid off in a big way. LOOK AT HER LOOKING AT HIM!!!!!!! TOUCHING YOUR EARS AND NECK AND SHOWING OFF YOUR TONGUE IS FLIRTING!!!!!! I READ ABOUT IT ONCE IN A DOLLY MAGAZINE!!!!

You know who else asked assertively for a rose? Oh, just a gal named Matilda Rice back in season one of The Bachelor NZ. Mike then tried very hard to secure the rare piece of chicken – the only meat Lesina eats – in the barbecue challenge, but the rest of the men cottoned on quick and it turned into a right debacle: 

Chook or no chook, it didn’t matter in the end. Mike attempted some sort of egg nightmare (in a lot of ways the original chook), and later found himself on a single date with Lesina quad-biking through the country side. They both talked about feelings next to a smoky fire, and then he lay a big ol’ smackeroo on her. Mike has kissed Lesina. I repeat. Mike. Has. Kissed. Lesina. It’s over for you bitches (it’s me, I’m bitches). 

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Mystery tube man

Who is he

“Fireflies”

Yes “fireflies” and not “Steve smoking two darts at once”. See you next week Peter Pan.