Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist Lyrics

[Princeton]
Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?

[Kate]
Sure

[Princeton]
Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?

[Kate]
Uh huh

[Princeton]
Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster

[Kate]
Right

[Princeton]
You're both Monsters

[Kate]
Yeah

[Princeton]
Are you two related?
[Kate]
What? Princeton! I'm surprised at you! I find that racist

[Princeton]
Oh, well, I'm sorry, I was just asking

[Kate]
Well, it's a touchy subject
No, not all monsters are related
What are you trying say, huh? That we all look the same to you?

Huh, huh, huh?

[Princeton]
No, no, no, oh, not at all
I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist

[Kate]
I should say so
You should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race

[Princeton]
Well, look who's talking!

[Kate]
What do you mean?
[Princeton]
What about that special Monster school you told me about?

[Kate]
What about it?

[Princeton]
Well could someone like me go there?

[Kate]
No, we don't want people like you!

[Princeton]
Ha ha ha ha ha, you see? You're a little bit racist

[Kate]
Well, you're a little bit too

[Princeton]
I guess we're both a little bit racist

[Kate]
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do

[Princeton]
But I guess it's true
[Kate]
Between me and you

[Both]
I think everyone's a little bit racist sometimes
Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind
Maybe it's a fact we all should face
Everyone makes judgments based on race


[Princeton]
No, not big judgments, like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from

[Kate]
No

[Princeton]
No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican
Busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!


[Kate]
Right!

[Both]
Everyone's a little bit racist today
So, everyone's a little bit racist, okay
Ethnic jokes might be uncouth
But you laugh because they're based on truth
Don't take them as personal attacks
Everyone enjoys them, so relax!

[Princeton]
All right, stop me if you've heard this one

[Kate]
Okay!

[Princeton]
Alright there's a plane going down, and there's only one parachute, and there's a rabbi, a priest

[Kate]
And a black guy!

[Gary]
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?


[Kate]
Uh....

[Gary]
You were telling a black joke

[Princeton]
Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes

[Gary]
I don't!

[Princeton]
Well, of course you don't—you're black, but I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?

[Gary]
Well, sure I do, those stupid Polacks, ha ha ha


[Princeton]
Now, don't you think that's a little racist?

[Gary]
Well damn, I guess you're right


[Kate]
You're a little bit racist

[Gary]
Well, you're a little bit too

[Princeton]
We're all a little bit racist!

[Gary]
I think that I would have to agree with you

[Kate & Princeton]
We're glad you do

[Gary]
It's sad but true
Everyone's a little bit racist, all right

[Kate]
All right

[Princeton]
All right

[Gary]
All right

Bigotry has never been exclusively white

[All]
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit
Even though we all know that it's wrong
Maybe it would help us get along

[Princeton]
Oh, Christ, do I feel good!

[Gary]
Now there was a fine upstanding black man

[Princeton]
Who?

[Gary]
Jesus Christ

[Kate]
But, Gary, Jesus was white

[Gary]
No, Jesus was black

[Kate]
No, Jesus was white

[Gary]
No, I'm pretty sure Jesus was black

[Princeton]
Guys, guys, Jesus was Jewish


[All]
*laughter*

[Brian]
Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

[Gary]
Racism

[Brian]
Cool

[Christmas Eve]
Brian, come back here! You take out lecycuraburs!

[Princeton]
What's that mean?

[Brian]
Um, recyclables

[Kate, Princeton and Gary]
*laughter*

[Brian]
Hey, don't laugh at her
How many languages do you speak?


[Kate]
Oh, come off it, Brian
Everyone's a little bit racist

[Brian]
I'm not!

[Princeton]
Oh no?

[Brian]
Nope!

[Princeton]
Huh

[Brian]
How many Oriental wives have you got?

[Christmas Eve]
What? Brian!

[Princeton]
Brian, buddy, where you been?
The term is Asian-American


[Christmas Eve]
I know you are no intending to be
But calling me Oriental—offensive to me!

[Brian]
I'm sorry, honey, I love you

[Christmas Eve]
And I love you

[Brian]
But you're racist, too

[Christmas Eve]
Yeah, I know

The Jews have all the money
And the whites have all the power
And I'm always in taxi cab
With driver who no shower

[Kate]
Me too

[Princeton and possibly Brian]
Me too

[Gary]
I can't even get a taxi!


[All]
Everyone's a little bit racist, it's true
But everyone is just about as racist as you
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit

And everyone stopped being so PC
Maybe we could live in harmony

[Christmas Eve]
Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist

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About

Genius Annotation

Avenue Q is a musical adaptation of Sesame Street and other puppeteering shows which talks about more adult themes.

‘'All of the characters, puppet and human, represent “amalgamations of things and feelings [Marx and Lopez had been] going through personally.” The characters are young adults, searching for their “purpose” in life, and facing real-world adult problems with uncertain outcomes, as opposed to the simplistic problems and invariably happy resolutions faced by characters on children’s television programming. Much of the show’s ironic humor arises from its contrasts with Sesame Street, a metaphor of the contrasts between childhood and adulthood, and between the children’s TV world and the real world. The story line presupposes the existence of “monsters” and talking animals; and human actors sing, dance, and interact with puppets, both human and non-human, as if they were sentient beings, in a light-hearted, quasi-fantasy environment. (No attempt is made to explain why seven of the human characters are played by puppets, while the other three are played by actual humans.) However, the characters face real-world problems; they use abundant profanity in dialogue and musical lyrics; there are episodes of “full puppet nudity” (and puppet sex); and many songs and sub-plots address decidedly adult themes, such as racism, pornography, homosexuality, and schadenfreude.’'

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